Sweet-Nothings

This is from last april or may i believe. Writing conference '08

He was always good at hiding things
Like secrets in a drawer
Never did I expect a word of truth out of that foul mouth
and yet i still wanted assurance
I would listen to all he had to offer
All he had to say
Knowing it was only words. Hollow. Empty
Words
And yet they sounded so amazing
So delicious
Like an apple on a hot summer's day
Or chocolate covered strawberries

I listened because I wanted to
And because I didn't want to as well
He always gave me those compliments
The, "You're so wonderful" line
And in my mind I knew they were just honey-covered sweet-nothings
Buzzing in my ears
But my heart still pounded to the beat of his feet
Trodding on pavement

That smile. That dimple just diagonal of his few freckles around his nose
They spoke to me in a way simple talking would never achieve

I loved this boy
But why?
I asked myself that question
Over and over
With never an answer to make me say
"Ahhh...of course"

For all those compliments...
Just hollow
Just empty
Just space
Words.
Nothing I could touch
Beyond heart wrestling minds
I was caught in a cycle that never would cease

The longer I listened
The more I wanted his arms around my waist
It would never happen though
Never
I couldn't bear it
Not again

Oh, I love him.