The Journal

again...wrote this last year. response to a story. kind of silly.

All the knowledge of the world would not suffice for the hole in my heart. It grows larger each day. I never wished to leave you, my darling, that dark and foreboding night. As I write these words, I still dream of your flawless skin and sparkling eyes.
I would never purposefully hurt you, but I saw it as my duty to abandon you, only for a time, in order to serve my homeland and the country of which my very being wakes for each day.
I am torn between two loves. The love of my country, the green fertile pastures in which I used to dwell and ponder against old and wise willow trees. The soft whisper of the gentle breeze on my face. The silent mysteries I will never uncoil
And then there's you.
The other half of my beating organs. The soft texture of your face on my chest. How I miss you. And yet, how easily I may have chosen you. Would I ever be at peace? Knowing my companions are out on irate and bashing waves while I am aside the warmth of a fireplace hearth, you by my side.
I could not bear to be absent from those brave, loyal men. Not because I seek for gratitude and honor. I seek for justice and freedom. And how do I live for those and breathe their roles if I myself did not take part in their earning?
Of all the fashions of the earth and nature, none compare to your smooth being. All I wish to say in this letter is the truth and an explanation of your loneliness. I needed to relay my thoughts and sorrows to the one I hurt. And now, I so desperately hope you understand the vacant bedside you awoke to find. I could not bear to wake the angelic princess whom laid beside me. I knew the tears and begging that would begin. And I, weak in your presence, would have only obeyed
You, my angel, needed the dream world still as I packed up the ship. The land where only happiness shows itself to even the most deepest abyss.
Let this be my intention and by God's grace it may come true: I wish my return safely to hold once more, your gracious hands and taste again, your luscious lips
Do not give up hope until you know for face what has become of me. Until you know however, I will save a picture of your wondrous face in my very soul even when I may enter heaven. No angel beyond those pearly gates could ever surpass your beauty.
I love you and always remember that. For I will always remember the knowledge you presented to me.
So long, the beat of my heart. May peace be with you always and may God grant us reunion.