Intricate Design

Intricate designs softly flutter in crisp coolness
Descending downward to an unknown destiny
Swaying, peaceful, timeless
Sensitive, they melt upon my tongue
Never to return again
Yet still more fall, each their own
With planned destinations and life spans
Though they may be unaware

One does know

Every unique personal purpose
And they do so without thought
They let it be
Submitting to a path of flowing air
We don't give in so easily
Greedy, we wander to grasp power and control

Won't I fall along?

I want to be a creation
An innovation to one's mind
Too complex to comprehend my origin
Just as that intricate design of snowflakes descending to dissolve upon my tongue
The endless starlit night invites along, soft breeze
Swinging leaves on sturdy trees
Convince me to unclench my fists
Let gusts breathe through their openings
And awake in me awareness of vulnerability
Though still knowledge of
His promise I too, will follow in descent if only to dissolve within His presence, my intricate design

Bittersweet Situation

I am not depressed
I am not distressed
I am not overwhelmed with loneliness
But I need not lie
And say I don't cry
When I think of it all and wonder why.


I feel out of place
When I see your face
Around those of whom I'm at an arms race
But when we're alone
I feel right at home
Why do we exchange such different tones?


I will move along
And make sure you're wrong
I know that I have to keep being strong
I have elation
This is creation
Of my new bittersweet situation.


I'm ready for change
I know that sounds strange
My thoughts have switched, flipped, and the rearranged
These eyes do hold tears
But I hide my fears
When you are with them together and near.


Time is ticking on
Soon I will be gone
I'm going to wake to a brand new dawn
I won't give in to
The feelings within
I know there is only one way to win.


I am excited
I am delighted
I am also afraid and very frightened
I have elation
This is creation
Of my new bittersweet situation.

Stare down infinity

What's wrong with the heart
Of emptiness
No where to start
When everything's less

Stare down infinity
Look at the stars
Anything beyond eternity
Anything beyond wars?

We are broken
We have no cure
We are angry men
We are unsure

What's wrong with the heart
of emptiness
There is no more art
When nothing can lighten this loneliness

Does anyone stare down infinity?
Does anyone look at the stars?
Who can see beyond eternity
Besides the ones who have died in those wars?

We are broken
Is there a cure?
We are angry men
Is anyone sure?

Song of December

The songs bring me away
As crunching snow invades the day
Walking with the broadest grin
I could barely hold it in
I was content
And you were there
Nothing else deserved my care

Now dried petals slowly fall
Leaving me to a desperate crawl
Clocks weren't made to tick and cease
And the note wears thin at its battered crease
Will you leave
Or will I forget
The days we argued before we met

Come back, December, the time I miss
When love survived without one kiss
Holding me tight with music playing
Watching your eyes while silently praying
Things will change
And I'll be gone
But your soft scent will linger on...

Hip-to the-Hop

We all want to communicate
Articulate
Elaborate
Our fears and love of life
But when we move our lips
Trash generates from those sips
Tongues tasting intoxicated slurs
Inebriated souls
And while we talk non-stop
That constant beat goes

Hip-to the-Hop, Hip-to the-Hop

Blinding my intelligent mind
From seeing anything but hate and abuse
Deafening my ears
To hear nothing but words of lust and sex
Talking about beating those hoes because you've paid due
Nothing sells
Unless it comes from the flames of darkened hell
Because that's cool
That's what people listen to
All that's ever played is that

Hip-to the-Hop, Hip-to the-Hop

No hope, no respect, no faith
Just stabs at relationships and race
Melodies that could be beautiful
Bringing positive tunes
Exert anger and darkness
Because it's normal now to slit your wrists
It's fine to stop taking nourishment
Stop feeding the body and mind
Of what it calls for so deeply
Just take some drugs and you can once again listen to that

Hip-to the-Hop, Hip-to the-Hop

You won't get over any of the pain
You'll never let anything rest
Life is no more than an expansive period of time
It doesn't matter if you leave later
Or if you overdose now and sleep forever
Feeling body heat next to you
Is the only thing that matters anymore
Ignore the hole in your heart
That only faith could ever replace

Forget your existence
Just to hear that last beat of the

Hip-to the-Hop, Hip-to the-Hop.

Silent Illusion

You cannot feel that burning sensation
Deep in the soul of cold broken pieces
And you destroy the interpretation
Taping it down in old folded creases

There is a full heart crying deep within
It will return to shatter through your eyes
Feeling pure elation isn't a sin
But you want to cut through half-hearted ties

I promise you will redeem emotion
Shattered hopes and dreams can restore that part
Tears drip down red eyes like a rushed ocean
Showing inside of your sad bleeding heart

Share this pain and comfort my confusion
Hold me and form a silent illusion


Now you have beaten me slowly and won
Accept that all I said to you is true
You once called me as shining as the sun
Only blood and lies through those notes seep through

I had filled that half empty heart through care
Have you forgotten the pain that last night?
Or was it nothing to you…just a dare?
Now I am the hopeless one lost in sight

Shall I burn the old box within my room?
Or cherish the memories it once kept
There was sweet beauty prior to this gloom
It's now forever gone and I have wept

Feel this pain crying at the confusion
Now it has ceased: My silent illusion

Flawed Reflection

Who's that in the reflection staring back?
Surely not me
No, of course not!
That is the face of a liar and coward

Those sagging eyes are not my own
My eyes are bright and send my love
The mirror shows sockets of hateful and judging gazes
They do not belong on my pure face

That big mouth never tasted my jaw
My lips raise people up who are down and do not slander as those do
The mirror shows thin lips that have lied and deceived many
They do not belong on my pure face

That large nose never smelled my food
My nose smells flowers and filters out odors
The mirror shows a nose that sniffs down revenge
No, that would not even fit on my pure face

Those pointy ears never heard my name called
My ears listen to positive messages and God's word
The mirror shows two ears that perk up to gossip
They do not belong on my pure face

Those dirty, stained hands never felt my skin
My hands are clean and bring help to the needy
The mirror shows hands that hunger to strike and hit flesh
Thos do not belong to me

For I shine and bring light
I do not possess any of these reflected flaws
Therefore, I am of course, not shown in that glass
That body is surely not mine
No
Of course not

Blank Music of the Rabbit

A hole left bare
In the peach-colored cup
I never thought that day would come
Only a pink toothbrush holds place
Its bristles are used and old
The long-known friend diappeared
Loneliness in the bathroom near the sink
That blue toothbrush is gone
That blowing fan is absent
There are no more socks left on her shining doorknob

Cement Wall

I'm calling out, Lord
Am I inconsolable?
His love was a sword
And my heart was not durable

Now I'm hiding myself
And I won't jump in cold
My love's on a shelf
And I can't be sold

How will I give it all
How could I risk it?
I need a strong wall
With attainable exits

Will anyone listen?
Are my beliefs solely mine?
Because the morals I strengthen
Seem to break every line

I know I won't change
But I want a connection
Who'd rearrange
And fake satisfaction?I'm calling out, Lord
Am I inconsolable?
Love is a sword
Will my heart ever be durable?

Winter Tale

She walks along the darkened path,
Shiv'ring through thin fibers.
Her breathing hastens to heavy gasps
That show the foggy warmth
Evaporating between each breath.

She reaches for the swelling midriff,
And looks up at the man before her,
Desperation and need pleading in dark eyes.
"We are full," he claims, showing no empathy.

No place in town has room for her
And time is running out.
Her husband's hand quickly finds hers
And pulls them both into an aging manger.
Sheep and calves are nestled in the hay
As she falls to the ground and gives life
To a baby that will one day save her own.

She wraps him in cloth and holds him close.
Love enflamed in her eyes
Warmth is hard to find in the frozen night
But the mother's kisses warm him fast
Softly and soundlessly, pure white flakes fall outside.
Crystallized ice mirrors the innocence of the brand new being.
One day his life will be lost
Only to give grace to all others

Sins will be as white as that snow-fallen night.
Follow the star to find the path to his mercy.
One appearing so small and helpless
Carries on the kingdom of heaven to redeemed souls:
Come and believe in that first memorable Christmas

Rain

I know why the rain does fall
Slamming the pavement,
Eroding stone walls
It seems like a sadness
Never complete
Breaking apart a small hope or dream
Ripping the softness, right down the seams

I know why the rain does drip
Plopping on pavement
Letting ants sip
It lightens in time
And soon will be gone
Establish an entry of orange-pink dawn
Wetting the blades in green, clean-cut lawns

I know why the rain does die
Dissolving on pavement
Airing it dry
It gives birth to blossoms
That one day will bloom
Clearly envisioned from my darkened room
Becoming as vibrant as feathery plumes

One And All

Are words all you possess?
’Cause your actions don’t impress
The exceeding expectations
In my mind will never rest
I need the facts poured out
Not broken lies upon the floor
Every time that you come near me
My heart’s pounding at the core
Don’t eat away my senses
Or sweep truth under the rug
I deserve some explanations
Before connections come unplugged
Will sweetnes cover salt?
’Cause I believe you’d be at fault
For burning tears upon the sore
You’re not one I should exalt

So prove to me your honesty
And we may work through this brawl
But you’ll always work for second place
For the Lord’s my one and all

Cold

I'm standing out cold
While you're writing a note
My hands like two ice cubes
And a call in my throat
To yell your name out;
To embrace just one gaze
Of truth and of knowledge or a quick-witted phrase

So fast, I am whizzing
Yet words are delayed
My heart's playing hopscotch
While your brilliant eyes fade
And I wait for my being to charm you with grace
Or convert your soft grins to an awkward embrace

Do you share these temptations to block all else out?
Do you share my confusion and unwanted doubts?
Kind words and deep readings
Curl into my mind
But my mouth just can't spit these planned phrases and rhymes
So I'll wait, I suppose, to watch your heart climb
Past obstacles where others fell through Last Time

Where Are You Now?

Where are you now
Upon the door cradle
Eating soup along a garden rail
Visible from the back of my mind
Canned tomatoes with salt, I can tell by the way your mouth twitches
Relay the exact thoughts that go by as our distance expands
And this is my process as I fall into deep relaxation
For i am unaware
But you're still eating the soup
Careless and obivious

Foul mouths would spill out words
If I was like that
But I'm not

So where are you now?

Clouds

I watch
The traveling fog fly high
In twilight skies
So far away

And yet I still reach out
For illusion brings me
The false touch

And they continue on their steady voyage

Distance divides us
As they move along the toppings
Racing kites will never accomplish
The height at which I yearn and they succeed

To be so far
Is there new sense?
New knowledge of unending time?
Never will I understand
That grand splendor?

Simplicity binds me to the floor
Trapped in freedom
To watch the wind blow
A path for wisps of white

What is beyond you, misty vapor?
How vast a space?
Will I ever endure
The height and mystery you show?

Lying on the whitened knoll
My back sinks into icy snow
I look so far in the gray haze
And understand my insignificance

Placed
Compared to all around
Me, I lie in awe
For it will never be grasped and clenched
In our minds
We simply are and always will be
The splattering small raindrops from larger clouds
Awaiting our evaporation.

Fallen Harder than the First Time

A beating heart
And frozen mind
Fast-paced life
I fall behind

"And I think i've fallen harder than the first time..."

Ignore my uncomfort
Stay for a while
Sit beneath stars
Kiss softly: my smile

For they are all childish
They beat the dead horse
Craving for comfort
I run slowly, the course

Tell him I'm sorry
And tell him I meant it
Tell him it's my fault
For erasing contentment

She was a fool
But you never cared
To pick up your phone
And continue what's shared

Would you not believe me
If I wrote this for you?
Would you comprehend
That this pain is still new?

Or am I just bluffing?
Is all this a lie?
Are you reading through this
With a tired, sad sigh?

So many questions
I wish you were here
With a rock in your hand
And a shoulder for tears

Let's pretend the world is lovely

Let us go then, you and I

"Let us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky"

Like swift, small squirrels when cars roll by
Shifting slowly, your heart so sly

Never tell your plans, 'so long'
Ignore that your instincts may be wrong
Yet don't speed either like a race-paced song
For sensual hunger is not as strong

If only conversation flowed
So freely and easy as on newly paved roads
Without wrestling children who change to new modes
These words are not random, I hope you decode

O Soul, Take Wing [[Neoplatonism]]

Sophia, Lady of Wisdom,
Why do I walk this earth
With filthy soil, but untainted blue skies?
Understanding surpasses the people
But you appear so sure
Civilization runs crumbling
With no body to aid it.
And you ask for action
Movement to be remembered and kept

Flesh, evil and prison of bone,
Why must you hold me to ground?
I crave for all less holy
Regardless of soul battles
Curse you, separation!
Damn the yearning; the hunger.
Lust in darkness fails me
Curse the Body!

I wish to know Virtue's ingredients
Comprehension, first and foremost
Understanding, my salvation's cost
For my soul longs to return
And unite with the divine
Oh, lovely divine

And dead souls will rise again
Take wing to rise again

Dreadful Risks

I never thought it'd be like this
Your dark dreamt eyes
Forever bliss
Now all I need is
One true kiss
But someone knows
The dreadful risks

I never thought it'd be so warm
Your big, tan hands
Around me swarm
My thoughts, although a bit amiss
Quick to ignore
The dreadful risks

I never thought it'd be a chase
Your gentleness
And soft embrace
Tire not and don't be brisk
They're not so bad
These dreadful risks

I never thought I'd be like this
Open for
That one true kiss
Even with my mind amiss
I let it be
My heart at risk

Prostitute

She is a prostitute.
Drunken in daytime, but sober by night
Awkwardly unlike the stereotypes
But all the men use her;
Abuse her at best
Leave her their money between her large breasts
And still she just smiles
With one tooth gone missing
But one doesn't need teeth
When their life is just kissing

Her money is spent on cheap booze around town
Ignoring the fact that she needs a new gown
So continues the cycle
She ends down on her knees
Every night she moans harder, sobbing out,
"PLEASE!

"Stop this sin that you're living
And save me as well!
You touch me like heaven
But both our lives are in hell!"

These words lack the meaning
That she wants to get out
And her dirty surroundings
Muffle the clear, drawn-out shouts
So she rests on the pillows post nightly affairs
And sleeps until morning when she'll breathe liquor like air.

Dear God

Dear God,
Give me patience
To wait out for all ahead
And let meLet it be
Let them fall right into place
The missing puzzle pieces you hold
And the ending written in your mind
Place them in my heart
I'm done with her anger
I'm over this sadness
I never wanted him for me
Just a him to be
Now I'm dwelling
Always unsure
Insecure with my body
Hating the truth
He found her
She found him
Now that ring will be on her finger
And never again will I have him In my imaginary cage
Eating marshmallowsIt's beautiful
It's amazing
How everything I've dreamed about is being played out right before my eyes
So how long does my smile have to show?
How long until it's authentic and real and
BURSTING?
I'm pathetic, I know
Just eager
And once it is all here in my arms, I'll miss all I have now
Time is so tricky
The moments of freedom are taken away
From choices
Virtual choices
Virtual lives
Electronic devices
I realize that
And I still sit frozen underneath the gorgeous skies
Blazing sun
Natural
Organic
Life
Where are the children who run, skip, and dance?
Where are the cafe art models who observe writers who are focused and concentrated
And they share the same thoughts
And they share the same views
And he's just so wonderful that she thinks, 'GOD, how could this be happening to ME?'
And then there's those artificial flavors
Going to the beaches, the ones who try and play soccer
Even
though
they
suck
And still, I try to love them all
But where'd all the good people go?
And where is he now?
Give me patience
Amen

I saw who I wanted to marry today

I saw who I wanted to marry today
He was sitting on a tall sturdy, red metal stool.
Those kind that are at little, neighborly diners and cafés

He stared down at a piece of paper intently
Concentrating hard on his thoughts
His poetry
At least, that's what I assumed based on the lines that were written neatly in stanzas down half a page
And every so often when words did not come to him
He'd move his hand to his chin and rub his just-shaven skin
His eyes wandered across his table to a rough old woman working behind the coffee maker
She had a wrinkled skirt that matched her skin
I wonder if he noted this
Or incorporated it into his writing…
He'd only look briefly at her silky white hair and finally move his lips slowly in the smallest circular motion.
His curled pointer finger still supporting his relaxed jaw

As his lips rotated, the dimple on his left cheek became obvious, obscure, obvious, obscure
And then his gaze would fall once again upon the pad of paper below him. Inspiration struck every so often, lines seeping from his blue, inky pen.
It wasn't just his writing,
Or the way he held his pen,
Or the way he slumped just slightly in the backless seat
Or even the slowly and circular ways about him that intrigued me
It was simply the whole scene at once
The kind of scene when only the center is focused
Because, honestly, my surroundings stayed a blur
I could only focus on his messy dark hair
Short and to the point, fixed with strokes of gel
It was just the right amount
I think I'm in love
And he never even noticed me

1:07 AM

As breaking daylight shines 'pon windowsills and pillow clouds sail by my eyes with stormy fog, there comes a yearning for clarity had power.

Power? To take that which abandoned such possibilities back into arms of openness. Of course, this would be foolish, but due to blurry facts and stumbling thoughts, I appear to fade into the same darkness of months past. Is it identical? To someone outside the glass box, they would say yes. But I, who know the whizzing complexities, see a stronger reflection. Who has the power to push me down? Who has authority to think all that I've ever been and ever will be is just plain not good enough. How dare they. How dare those fools who see right past the solid colors. I am a dove. Renewed, hopeful, free. Pure with the sun rays displaying my cotton complexion.

I hate the world and here I am. That glazed vision tends to wish away what could have been and yet I linger. Is it glazed? Am I really stuttering the words or are they there right inside my mind of quotes that phrase me better?

Yes, it's true. And for certain, it is shameful. I suppose uncertainty and inexperience is that which plagues me. SWEAR the lies I make up within my head...are false? Is it really as horrible as I make it out to be? I hate these questions. Almost as much as I hate the fact that you can't even dial my life in.

Take a moment. Look along your walls. I hate your uncertainty
hate

hate?

I may believe myself as one who keeps falling and keeps fighting the voices. But now I think i'll decide to just keep flying. Fly away from all that damages important ground. I'm going to keep flying

Inside Affair of a Yearning Heart

All the needs replace the seeds of which I plant to aid your lead and give you all the selfish darts that crashed my world and pierced my heart. The bruises, brown 'pon blood red tears so quickly closed your hearing ears. And silent whispers in the night from Asian eyes that held me tight. To him, I bid a deep farewell and run to thee, with hardened shell. But are you just a stay-inside? The kind who hides from love's shy sight? Of course it's all the same to me. I share such fear of blinding tears for that is why I cling to thee; the he of whom my world should be attached like strings upon lone trees who catch and hug old wooden swings.

I want and pray for this small deed. A second glance provides such need to truly see my glowing face, a power you can soon embrace.

I'm here in front of your sweet lips and yearn to touch thy fingertips. To partner as one heart, one soul; Rapidly, I'd take this role. Yet will her freckled face suffice? Surpass my roll of snake-eyed dice? So low, my chances, now I know how you would leap and let me go. She's played so well, this game of lust and I break down our growth of trust, assuring how I'm not as tough to win the game when times get rough.

I must depart and leave you be as hard as all that sounds to me

Right now this fight has seen the light so I'll let go my cries inside. For no amount of my pain's worth one single tear that dropped to earth and came from thy dark almond eyes. So long, my friend

I cut the ties.

Green Envy Eyes

Only behind green envy eyes
Do secrets and frustrations lie
Confusion blinks so clear beneath
Grey armor, where all swords are sheathed

Like choices never spoken loud
And thunder, fearful in dark clouds
We beat and strike the shrieking clues
That lead us to nostalgic blues

And tears of salt that are unclean
You hide from me...or so it seems
Blind to the face of truth so near?
Deaf to the cries inside that you hear?
Mute of the words you need to say?
Wanting to touch that soft, young day?

I read the signs more than you know
But it's true that you've changed; all come and go
Past childhood mem'ries and bittersweet games
That we all thought taught us we were two of the same

Souls
Who are thirsty for love have destroyed
Such innocent methods, as old as ripped toys
And I hate that you've left me, so broken and torn
Does it not matter now, that promise we'd sworn?

Never come to me to say a farewell
I'll cling to you and the fraud that you sell
In darkened time while you suck down her taste
Of innocence that is so quickly erased