We the People=Love

it'd be a lie to run away
from every song and dream i've played
within my mind...and here in space
wooden sheets and doily lace
also hold my thoughts on Thee
tears of salt match drops of sea
and i'm so weak, i cannot move
i cannot waste more time to prove
existence...

it's real
it's here
it's now
it's sealed
this fate that God has long concealed
i've fought
i've yelled
i've tripped on grace
i've prayed for one to wipe my face
cleaning up my doily lace

i've looked
i've seen
i've touched and heard
all the heads within your Word
they need
they thirst
they love
they curse
Your name and every giving verse

the light shines on and whites this lace
that once was scarred, a bloody trace
back to days of old, slow death
the light shines on each filthy breath
and due to this, you may now see
every sign nailed 'pon wood trees
all the people equal love
the greatest worth
from Thee...above.

Sorry

I ran to the one with the hardest shell
Scared to find another endless well
foreboding...dark...making me drown
Because the Asian still holds my purple crown
I asked for it once, but he withheld
And now my heart is a bleeding cell
Once again

You were so close...so near-then you flew
You started to run, becoming unglued
So I laid there on sand, pleading for truth
Youthful faces may betray us
Growing patience will delay us
Everyone's been Scared to Death of Dying
But I want to Live. Breathe. Quit all this whining
Maybe honesty's just too much because when we
Barely even touch, our mouths tighten 'round ev'ry secret
Building hilltops of regret...on sacred ground.

Whisper just one, CLEAR, open sound
I promise I will listen!
Can't you hear the battle cry!?
I am breaking only because you keep taking
And Twisting this tale of dreams
Ripping my trust right down the seams

I'm so scared of you
I'm so aware of you
I'm so confused by you

He holds my hand
He stays by me on sand
He clears my doubts with one look at this land
He's waiting in the wings
Clinging to the hope of my return
And I hate standing by, just watching him burn
Maybe I should quit trying and learn

How to Let Live and Let Die

So If Yellow is your Mountain Strategy
it's failing quite miserably
Maybe I should Break Away and Fall
While you keep building those high, impenetrable walls

I'm so sorry

Awkward Soul

I see his small fidget as you whisper the knives
Even in jest, your words can break lives

His mother sits idle, remarried and poor
Fourteen years have gone by, but the wounds are still sore
Driving hours, he’ll leave his house fast to escape,
Questioning God and every small, empty gape
That seem only to fill when her smile is near
The heart flutter which echoes my own, soft, but clear

His sister’s moved out to find peace by the old
And the half one’s alone in her bedroom, so cold
Dark and morbid she wilts, capacity low
While their rooster wakes up by the bloodied, crazed crow

He haunts through his home to save her from death
Calls it “suicide watch” and cries out hidden breaths
Once the duty’s been done, he lies under the covers
Every fire of innocence from childhood’s smothered

The boy reaches down to find comfort on paper
Magazines provide dreams when life will be simpler
The boy curses such lives and all children who follow
Every word, every tear, every pill that’s been swallowed

His father exclaims how a promise’d been sworn
The plan was to kill him before he was born
Mommy and Daddy agreed on this stance
An easy solution, needing no backward glance
The date came and halted. She backed down, discerned
That maybe this child was not hers to let burn

That one quick decision brought smiles from stars
And months dragged on ‘till his shriek broke her guard
Things would be different, surely! She pleaded
But tears grew to hate as her husband retreated
Nights used for dates, days used for lies
He left her there bleeding…too broken to cry

And now in that house, so ruined by fate,
They sit and pretend that the days go too late
Sloth fills their pockets and eyes look toward breasts
Never again shall there ever be rest

I see his dark fidgets every day that he grows
And their rooster wakes up by the bloodied, crazed crow

Poor woman, the Queen

I think I’m too proud to be persuaded
And almost too loud for aggravation
Yet so quiet my voice when all else has faded
And my eyes are on yours. You breathe life.

You breathe life

I’m ready for action
And steady in mind
Think of what words are now jaded
You’ve the upper hand
Quick in your movement
Soft with berating all my hidden conclusions
Crime falters such missions
Of reflective petitions
Epistles in masses I’m gone by the morn
Torn between loves, ideas that seem foreign
Wake me, oh Rays of beauty so bright
Lift my spine toward the pines
broken skies
Clouds…then light
Breaking clouds…breaking sights
The mother can’t feed her child this week
The frost on the panes and the fuzz whites mine cheek
I’m so sick
I’m so filthy and I have no escape
This longing’s not sated. I’m desperate to wake
And hear those birds chirping, flapping blue wings
Melding into my painting
A Father in chains
A Brother in pain
Yet the mother still sings
With sunken cheeks, flaxen face, ragged hair grips the scalp
She sings and she dances
Out loud she thanks God
His bountiful blessings on the streets are not lost
The son of his cost dripped down blood, red as love
Passion defines the word hate
Love is dry and yet wet
All the same
She sings and she dances
I envy her spirit. That wicked, small face is who God gives true purpose
Cause she shares the chalice in her mind and breaks the bread as time elapses. I envy her spirit

7*

I’d choose Warmth over the Cold
Soft over the Hard
Presence over Absence
And Anger over Murder
But as the layers deepen I can see how
Cold is what attracts me
Hard is what can teach me
Absence can unite three

But murder still remains

Break Within My Grasp

I smile when I’m happy and yet I smile as I’m crying. I hide from all the others, but for you I’m desperately trying to bring forth every notion and every motion encompassing all your thoughts…fleeting as they may be.
The simple flowing breeze reminds me of all the wonder that fills my head every time I hear you…and every second of each hour I wonder just when I’ll see you
Once again
I’m lost within these words because I wish God wrote them in my pages. Sages will earn visions when I pay for and pry open rusted, locked up cages holding the things to be aware of.
I’m incredibly scared of you.
You may believe in every written language
The meanings of certain phrases
The analogies of how to gauge true love
Above all else, letters meet each other, conjoin and gather other words to assemble other paragraphs and it continues to build until stories come alive.
Mountains arise.
Two separate worlds collide.
I’m waiting inside this body of mine to watch you approach and look after the time. Don’t be fearful when the clock strikes midnight. You’ve already won the glass, but my foot may shrink and my hands will be cold and my tongue is now numb from every song that’s been sung on the disc I yearned to record for you.

But I restrained myself

My teeth pulled away from your skin, letting pureness bleed within because I can’t kill this commitment with my bitter intentions. I can’t give in to roadside directions when people write mischief. They slander the sacred.
I’m taken.
I’m bitter.
I’m ready to sink in
Save me from this storyline. You’re the faithful, strong beat of my heart. Your organs pump red. Mine wither black and entangled fibers. Attaching my lashes to wrinkled, ugly, wonderful, genius creation.
Maybe in three years His brilliance will see how hands can switch all the bolts that used to fix cut up hedges. I’m over with senseless confusions and replies of indecisive conclusions. Give me answers! That’s all that I’m asking for and if you can’t say yes to this simple request, how dare you keep knocking down this silent, cold door.
Break within my grasp and say yes to all the under linings. Inclined to halt, the water withers within salty tears.
Fear is a

Lonely

Man who can’t decide until his chances fry and become invisible to the naïve, naked, wise eyes.

He says he's changed
He says he's stopped the addiction
He says he'll make an effort
To dial the numbers and write the notes and plan the days and see my face
But even as these words trickle off his tongue I remember every lie and every sigh passing from innocent mouths on cold, hard nights when tears dropped down, soaking faded linen.
Does he honestly expect to impress me with these "changes"?
Maybe he's rid himself of the naked reality, but that doesn't mean that magazines don't lurk beneath his covers and warm his skin every moment temptation tugs
Every smile fades once the night falls
Leaving no more time to act
He's lost that chance countless times. One apple pie won't make up for hidden messages.

If ever there was hope, he never expressed desire to lock it in my heart
So where are these words coming from!?
An awkward soul...that is he.
Change is not what I want
Change will never be
Nor ever bring connection, expression, passion, and reaction---this is for what i crave
For now his reactions are one gaze followed by an indescribable evaporation.

So we'll eat and dance and drive
But that one night means nothing. Not to me. It can't
And dancing will not break the white clouds I set sight upon
Eating will divide between our leather pockets
...i think?
And that question posed must stay, for I have not figured out where to end this possibility. My answer will break. My answer might take that cute crooked grin.
But how could he ever expect otherwise? That's the question I choose to pose.
When did I cross the line and when did he follow? Maybe the events rolled in reverse.



So I'll respond with a no
And the night shall echo.

Someday

Someday this will end and our jewels will all be in place
We'll have won the map and dug up the mohagany chest oozing with riches and light
But for now, only elements of promise contain our absolute hope
Nothing else deserves such trust
So When?
And Where?
And How?
Will the minutes creep by or will they chase after the hours and the seconds
The months and the years
The questions and the confusion
That breathes through my brain
There's comfort in sweet daydreams
So I'll kiss his chest and all the while, across the way leaning on brick,
Stands my heart
Stands the choice of where to lead and how to guard
Every X holds a treasure and every "why?" brings an answer from He who knows where curved dots lead and where low and high bumps lie
Someday we'll see what was predestined and how we ever got through it because right now
I feel as if I fight just to fight it and then bleed just to win it
Selfless sacrifice runs down tears, touching both sinful souls and innocent hands
How can there ever be purpose from such broken bones?
The toothless smiles frazzle emotion
Yet a million words will never reach one heart
I'm sick of such hypocrisy!
Just lending a moment
Would help you to see
That maybe we will one day be
Caught up in forest hills naked and free, but giving all we have left
To that one toothless man

And I'll praise the mountains
While laughing away every ideology belonging to fools who have no sense but think they hold the earth because they are who they are and that means they'll be
A mind...
A change...
A rescue plan.
Rescue me then! But these thoughts birthed ages ago and not once have I experienced focused results
My eyes are open, but your mind is closed
Someday we'll both have tears in our eyes.
From joy?
From pain?
Well, I Don't Know, but someday we will finally see
If we were ever meant to be...

Dancing on hilltops

10:32 pm

Purple thoughts.
Why is it so confuuuusing? I hear all the words and i read all the lines, but nowhere does there seem to be that CLICK.
Sometimes I wish for yarn. Sometimes I wish that the barrier between us would shatter like country walls. I drive along the road. The clouds are so high and so distant.
I hate them for that.
What we all really need is a day of focused redemption. Take some time from the radio static and the buzzing monitors and the pencil sharpeners and the screen savers. This is what will someday awaken such desire for a sense of completion. Those electronics and virtual distractions help blind us of the world and help plug out the truth behind corruption.
One morning I was sitting in the passengers seat and thought, 'here i am in a vehicle. A polluting vehicle on a paved road where construction workers can't seem to put their efforts into something that will actually have positive benefits. I mean, why fix something that's not broken? Honestly...but anyway I was sitting there and I was looking up at the sky. The sky is blue. The sky is not to be touched and yet everyone strives to travel such lengths to see beyond it. My heart thumped for just a brief second. It wasn't even a second. Less than a second. That's when I understood why our world is like it is. There's this impenetrable fence, or net more like it, keeping us from everything. We're stuck, and yeah, we feel some spirituality seep through the small holes, but really....we're stuck. Stuck. Life is precious and we're stuck. That brief less-than-second moment just made me want to cry. But not fully weep...just cry for that split moment of time and let everything out in such a quick way. Seeping out and i'm slipping down. It was then that I realized how much my life is yearning for that wholeness because everything we go through in time is so small in comparison to what we're striving for. Maybe it's books and knowledge and poetry and science and love and coffee that keep us all sane, but maybe they're exactly what are tearing us apart as well.'

And the days are like a mass heron attack on the seas of our hearts but also the booming sound of every voice and every tear and every step travelled on this green, telephone pole, beautiful, civilized, wondrous, creative, uncivilized, mistaken land.

Magic Clouds Wisp Slowly By

Magic clouds wisp slowly by
As icy power flows and flies
Along dark lashes, focused high
To gaze at wond’rous skies of Thine

So slow life goes when hope is torn
Between the love of crown and thorn
I thought that winter would resolve
All my questioning involved
Beginning from the last, sad year
Of other silent, drying tears

Now when sugar warms the air
Frozen arms avoid my glares
And frozen hearts are scared to dare

I promised once the snow did fall
My longing stand from weakened crawls
The magic clouds I see above
Used to wake in me, the love
And wonder
Awe
Belief.
Now gentle snow’s become a thief
Stealing two-year fantasies
Like it stole earth’s Autumn leaves

Wet cold ice touches fingertips
Freezing hands, and dried blue lips
That used to sing a warming song
About my future, affirmed and strong

Now this years’ snow does really show
My ignorance of how I’ll grow
I am unaware today

What the forecast holds at bay

Winter Tale

This winter tale does not explain
Fuzzy thoughts, or cookie brains
Santa Claus’ rosy cheeks
Or festive songs that last for weeks
Instead, this winter, read to you
A story shared from four faith views
They talk about a King of Kings
The Lord of Lords of whom we sing
During church the Eve of Love
The baby birthed to rescue us
The skies so black, yet mottled white
A star above shone toward that sight

I wish I were alive back then
To witness Mary’s cry and grin
As she hugged her sinless kin
And kissed his soft, cold, wrinkled skin

I wish I had been there to see
Joseph’s face burst into glee
When Baby gurgles broke our plea
And animals bowed rev’rently

I wish I were alive that night
To see my Savior bundled tight
To see who’d come to live God’s light
And beat dark Satan through Love’s fight

I wish I had been there to hear
The donkey’s haw and silent tears
The fumbling sheep that filled with fear
When wood creaked loudly as wind jeered

I wish I had been there to touch
The child’s hand, so small and bunched
His outreached palm, I’d run to clutch
The hand of whom I love so much

But most of all I wish I’d feel
Today, his presence, clear and real
His might to mend and words that heal
The aching hole which will not seal

For Christmas wishes musn’t be
For bulging socks or lit-up trees
Instead remember others’ needs
Letting go of selfish greed

Encompass innocence renewed
Beginning from His birth, so new
The pureness in His face of truth
The pureness veiled in all our youth

Who we really are

How dare you see yourself as righteous. Your face is not near flawless. Your lips do not attract me and they have no right to highlight my answers as wrong
I realize my faults
I know my weaknesses and you have no clue of what I've been going through
You think you're so perfect
Always Right
So Wise
It makes me Gag
Why can't you ever lend me a thought
One simple acknowledgement?
I can see the color beneath pale pink
Don't act supernatural
We're equivalents.
Or did I not get the memo that God favored the proud?
Sure, you have nice thoughts, great ideals, dazing words
But I'm not gonna kneel to you
You have no right to push all of that on me when you haven't even read my whole story or even tried to look into my soft, dark eyes and see what's truly going on
You're the cause
You're the confusion!
You're the problem here and how dare you deny that
If any of the quick gazes and the romantic phrases were just coincidence, I have no sense. I'm the chaser, but you know how you said the first word and sent the
first kiss
So was I supposed to see that as false and understand corrupted logic? If that's what you thought, then you're an idiot.
Have you ever listened to me talk?
Heard me sing,
Pray,
Accuse,
Question,
Long for
My God?
No.
That's personal.
Those walks and those honesties are Ours.
So don't act like you know me
And judge my faith when not once did you seek my heart's ground. We are not that different from each other and
We all fall
So check the facts
And never play me again.

Waiting in a Fairytale

I know to you it's nothing big
To lead me on, then loosen grips
To send me love and soothe my soul
While knowing nothing else shall grow
I know of course you set them high
Those expectations that I climb
To reach the top and take your hand
A promise bound in fiction lands
In foreign sights and fairy tales
Where princes know when love sets sail
And follows 'long as time ticks on
So fast the travel when hearts be fond

I sit and wait
I love, then hate
Frustration lurks as days go late
But hope remains in later dates
Confusion perks. I bite the bait

And only then do minds come clear
Yet anger shows through patient tears
Forced to linger, pushed in fear
That you will never lend thy ear
You will never bend to hear

Other sides can win the race
Other dragons slow the pace
And princess dreams do not replace
The faith you have to see my face
In glass reflection back at thee
Translucent eyes that see through me

Veils so quick can turn straight black
Can eat inside the love that lacks
To dig a deeper hole within
And run the cold, hard, broken track
Exposing whirlpools of my sin.

Yet it is yours as well, I cry!
I weep and mourn a withered sigh
You led me into thoughts amiss!
You led me to that splitting kiss!
That even if did not exist
I felt it on my aching lips
That yearn to whisper truths to you
And tell you how my dreams came true
How everytime I look into
Your smile, your eyes, I find the clues
Of where to turn inside this maze
That otherwise would last for days

'Go right! It's Right!' your eyes do say
This God beneath the tower stays
He'll rescue me when it is safe
For both of us, for both our faiths
Ring true as silence stutters soft
This chamber then, shall see me off.
The dragon will have long since passed
Resulting from the sword's deep slash
To banish all my flaming doubts
That kept me from His beauty mount
I realize now the faith I lost
When something else clinged to my cost
It's over with and now I breathe
A soothing hale you can believe

I am clean, i've been renewed
I have prayed and He's pursued
My heart that never was before
Belonging to the One adored
The One who built my very core
And now I see how He comes first
He fed my aches and drenched my thirst
Supplying all the needs for me
Before all else, like my dear sea

I love you Lord, please hear these cries
That beg for you to lift mine eyes
And focus on what's in Your plans
Not the love in foreign lands
Unless of course, they are to be
The plots you have in store for me

Dear Sea

O Dear Sea,

Sweet and subtle through endless days
This stage that we’re in, I’m eager and dazed
Your gaze
Your wit
Your selfless ways
I’m timid
I’m nervous
My mind in a haze
But while I sit waiting, I’ll search for soft hints
The ones you supply bring a grin once they’re sent
The lyrics sing calls and I’m drinking them down
Such phrases, such crazes, such mazes surround

It’s a challenge for me
To bring forth a glance
To alter free movement
To a stiff, steady stance
That awkwardly ponders the thoughts in my mind
The questions of time
When our dreams are one rhyme

Like stars in the sky
Strive to line with the sun
Signs the world’s ending
But signs we’ve begun
Can you see pure confusion? Do you mirror my doubts?Could delusions elude you from drowning them out?

Oh, please deny this and say it’s not so
Say you’re engrossed and you’ll, not yet, let go
With all that I know, I pray and I wish
To one day exceed at your check off list
Numbers grow large and the lines are quite long
With patience, I’ll gently lead you along
To see past the doubts
To see I am strong

With others it’s different. Connections are scarce
We’re shallow, on surface, and threads are too coarse
Such contrast I know
For the seeds we plant grow!
They actually rise to the questions I throw

I’m impressed
I’m matched up
I’m on quest for your votes
Not scribbles in margins for me to decode
‘Cause sweet gentle smiles control me
Enroll me
Along with my heartthrobs
Where outcasts patrol me

No need for these fears
This choice is from me
No need for lost tears
Oh hear me, Dear Sea

Intricate Design

Intricate designs softly flutter in crisp coolness
Descending downward to an unknown destiny
Swaying, peaceful, timeless
Sensitive, they melt upon my tongue
Never to return again
Yet still more fall, each their own
With planned destinations and life spans
Though they may be unaware

One does know

Every unique personal purpose
And they do so without thought
They let it be
Submitting to a path of flowing air
We don't give in so easily
Greedy, we wander to grasp power and control

Won't I fall along?

I want to be a creation
An innovation to one's mind
Too complex to comprehend my origin
Just as that intricate design of snowflakes descending to dissolve upon my tongue
The endless starlit night invites along, soft breeze
Swinging leaves on sturdy trees
Convince me to unclench my fists
Let gusts breathe through their openings
And awake in me awareness of vulnerability
Though still knowledge of
His promise I too, will follow in descent if only to dissolve within His presence, my intricate design

Bittersweet Situation

I am not depressed
I am not distressed
I am not overwhelmed with loneliness
But I need not lie
And say I don't cry
When I think of it all and wonder why.


I feel out of place
When I see your face
Around those of whom I'm at an arms race
But when we're alone
I feel right at home
Why do we exchange such different tones?


I will move along
And make sure you're wrong
I know that I have to keep being strong
I have elation
This is creation
Of my new bittersweet situation.


I'm ready for change
I know that sounds strange
My thoughts have switched, flipped, and the rearranged
These eyes do hold tears
But I hide my fears
When you are with them together and near.


Time is ticking on
Soon I will be gone
I'm going to wake to a brand new dawn
I won't give in to
The feelings within
I know there is only one way to win.


I am excited
I am delighted
I am also afraid and very frightened
I have elation
This is creation
Of my new bittersweet situation.

Stare down infinity

What's wrong with the heart
Of emptiness
No where to start
When everything's less

Stare down infinity
Look at the stars
Anything beyond eternity
Anything beyond wars?

We are broken
We have no cure
We are angry men
We are unsure

What's wrong with the heart
of emptiness
There is no more art
When nothing can lighten this loneliness

Does anyone stare down infinity?
Does anyone look at the stars?
Who can see beyond eternity
Besides the ones who have died in those wars?

We are broken
Is there a cure?
We are angry men
Is anyone sure?

Song of December

The songs bring me away
As crunching snow invades the day
Walking with the broadest grin
I could barely hold it in
I was content
And you were there
Nothing else deserved my care

Now dried petals slowly fall
Leaving me to a desperate crawl
Clocks weren't made to tick and cease
And the note wears thin at its battered crease
Will you leave
Or will I forget
The days we argued before we met

Come back, December, the time I miss
When love survived without one kiss
Holding me tight with music playing
Watching your eyes while silently praying
Things will change
And I'll be gone
But your soft scent will linger on...

Hip-to the-Hop

We all want to communicate
Articulate
Elaborate
Our fears and love of life
But when we move our lips
Trash generates from those sips
Tongues tasting intoxicated slurs
Inebriated souls
And while we talk non-stop
That constant beat goes

Hip-to the-Hop, Hip-to the-Hop

Blinding my intelligent mind
From seeing anything but hate and abuse
Deafening my ears
To hear nothing but words of lust and sex
Talking about beating those hoes because you've paid due
Nothing sells
Unless it comes from the flames of darkened hell
Because that's cool
That's what people listen to
All that's ever played is that

Hip-to the-Hop, Hip-to the-Hop

No hope, no respect, no faith
Just stabs at relationships and race
Melodies that could be beautiful
Bringing positive tunes
Exert anger and darkness
Because it's normal now to slit your wrists
It's fine to stop taking nourishment
Stop feeding the body and mind
Of what it calls for so deeply
Just take some drugs and you can once again listen to that

Hip-to the-Hop, Hip-to the-Hop

You won't get over any of the pain
You'll never let anything rest
Life is no more than an expansive period of time
It doesn't matter if you leave later
Or if you overdose now and sleep forever
Feeling body heat next to you
Is the only thing that matters anymore
Ignore the hole in your heart
That only faith could ever replace

Forget your existence
Just to hear that last beat of the

Hip-to the-Hop, Hip-to the-Hop.

Silent Illusion

You cannot feel that burning sensation
Deep in the soul of cold broken pieces
And you destroy the interpretation
Taping it down in old folded creases

There is a full heart crying deep within
It will return to shatter through your eyes
Feeling pure elation isn't a sin
But you want to cut through half-hearted ties

I promise you will redeem emotion
Shattered hopes and dreams can restore that part
Tears drip down red eyes like a rushed ocean
Showing inside of your sad bleeding heart

Share this pain and comfort my confusion
Hold me and form a silent illusion


Now you have beaten me slowly and won
Accept that all I said to you is true
You once called me as shining as the sun
Only blood and lies through those notes seep through

I had filled that half empty heart through care
Have you forgotten the pain that last night?
Or was it nothing to you…just a dare?
Now I am the hopeless one lost in sight

Shall I burn the old box within my room?
Or cherish the memories it once kept
There was sweet beauty prior to this gloom
It's now forever gone and I have wept

Feel this pain crying at the confusion
Now it has ceased: My silent illusion

Flawed Reflection

Who's that in the reflection staring back?
Surely not me
No, of course not!
That is the face of a liar and coward

Those sagging eyes are not my own
My eyes are bright and send my love
The mirror shows sockets of hateful and judging gazes
They do not belong on my pure face

That big mouth never tasted my jaw
My lips raise people up who are down and do not slander as those do
The mirror shows thin lips that have lied and deceived many
They do not belong on my pure face

That large nose never smelled my food
My nose smells flowers and filters out odors
The mirror shows a nose that sniffs down revenge
No, that would not even fit on my pure face

Those pointy ears never heard my name called
My ears listen to positive messages and God's word
The mirror shows two ears that perk up to gossip
They do not belong on my pure face

Those dirty, stained hands never felt my skin
My hands are clean and bring help to the needy
The mirror shows hands that hunger to strike and hit flesh
Thos do not belong to me

For I shine and bring light
I do not possess any of these reflected flaws
Therefore, I am of course, not shown in that glass
That body is surely not mine
No
Of course not

Blank Music of the Rabbit

A hole left bare
In the peach-colored cup
I never thought that day would come
Only a pink toothbrush holds place
Its bristles are used and old
The long-known friend diappeared
Loneliness in the bathroom near the sink
That blue toothbrush is gone
That blowing fan is absent
There are no more socks left on her shining doorknob

Cement Wall

I'm calling out, Lord
Am I inconsolable?
His love was a sword
And my heart was not durable

Now I'm hiding myself
And I won't jump in cold
My love's on a shelf
And I can't be sold

How will I give it all
How could I risk it?
I need a strong wall
With attainable exits

Will anyone listen?
Are my beliefs solely mine?
Because the morals I strengthen
Seem to break every line

I know I won't change
But I want a connection
Who'd rearrange
And fake satisfaction?I'm calling out, Lord
Am I inconsolable?
Love is a sword
Will my heart ever be durable?

Winter Tale

She walks along the darkened path,
Shiv'ring through thin fibers.
Her breathing hastens to heavy gasps
That show the foggy warmth
Evaporating between each breath.

She reaches for the swelling midriff,
And looks up at the man before her,
Desperation and need pleading in dark eyes.
"We are full," he claims, showing no empathy.

No place in town has room for her
And time is running out.
Her husband's hand quickly finds hers
And pulls them both into an aging manger.
Sheep and calves are nestled in the hay
As she falls to the ground and gives life
To a baby that will one day save her own.

She wraps him in cloth and holds him close.
Love enflamed in her eyes
Warmth is hard to find in the frozen night
But the mother's kisses warm him fast
Softly and soundlessly, pure white flakes fall outside.
Crystallized ice mirrors the innocence of the brand new being.
One day his life will be lost
Only to give grace to all others

Sins will be as white as that snow-fallen night.
Follow the star to find the path to his mercy.
One appearing so small and helpless
Carries on the kingdom of heaven to redeemed souls:
Come and believe in that first memorable Christmas

Rain

I know why the rain does fall
Slamming the pavement,
Eroding stone walls
It seems like a sadness
Never complete
Breaking apart a small hope or dream
Ripping the softness, right down the seams

I know why the rain does drip
Plopping on pavement
Letting ants sip
It lightens in time
And soon will be gone
Establish an entry of orange-pink dawn
Wetting the blades in green, clean-cut lawns

I know why the rain does die
Dissolving on pavement
Airing it dry
It gives birth to blossoms
That one day will bloom
Clearly envisioned from my darkened room
Becoming as vibrant as feathery plumes

One And All

Are words all you possess?
’Cause your actions don’t impress
The exceeding expectations
In my mind will never rest
I need the facts poured out
Not broken lies upon the floor
Every time that you come near me
My heart’s pounding at the core
Don’t eat away my senses
Or sweep truth under the rug
I deserve some explanations
Before connections come unplugged
Will sweetnes cover salt?
’Cause I believe you’d be at fault
For burning tears upon the sore
You’re not one I should exalt

So prove to me your honesty
And we may work through this brawl
But you’ll always work for second place
For the Lord’s my one and all

Cold

I'm standing out cold
While you're writing a note
My hands like two ice cubes
And a call in my throat
To yell your name out;
To embrace just one gaze
Of truth and of knowledge or a quick-witted phrase

So fast, I am whizzing
Yet words are delayed
My heart's playing hopscotch
While your brilliant eyes fade
And I wait for my being to charm you with grace
Or convert your soft grins to an awkward embrace

Do you share these temptations to block all else out?
Do you share my confusion and unwanted doubts?
Kind words and deep readings
Curl into my mind
But my mouth just can't spit these planned phrases and rhymes
So I'll wait, I suppose, to watch your heart climb
Past obstacles where others fell through Last Time

Where Are You Now?

Where are you now
Upon the door cradle
Eating soup along a garden rail
Visible from the back of my mind
Canned tomatoes with salt, I can tell by the way your mouth twitches
Relay the exact thoughts that go by as our distance expands
And this is my process as I fall into deep relaxation
For i am unaware
But you're still eating the soup
Careless and obivious

Foul mouths would spill out words
If I was like that
But I'm not

So where are you now?

Clouds

I watch
The traveling fog fly high
In twilight skies
So far away

And yet I still reach out
For illusion brings me
The false touch

And they continue on their steady voyage

Distance divides us
As they move along the toppings
Racing kites will never accomplish
The height at which I yearn and they succeed

To be so far
Is there new sense?
New knowledge of unending time?
Never will I understand
That grand splendor?

Simplicity binds me to the floor
Trapped in freedom
To watch the wind blow
A path for wisps of white

What is beyond you, misty vapor?
How vast a space?
Will I ever endure
The height and mystery you show?

Lying on the whitened knoll
My back sinks into icy snow
I look so far in the gray haze
And understand my insignificance

Placed
Compared to all around
Me, I lie in awe
For it will never be grasped and clenched
In our minds
We simply are and always will be
The splattering small raindrops from larger clouds
Awaiting our evaporation.

Fallen Harder than the First Time

A beating heart
And frozen mind
Fast-paced life
I fall behind

"And I think i've fallen harder than the first time..."

Ignore my uncomfort
Stay for a while
Sit beneath stars
Kiss softly: my smile

For they are all childish
They beat the dead horse
Craving for comfort
I run slowly, the course

Tell him I'm sorry
And tell him I meant it
Tell him it's my fault
For erasing contentment

She was a fool
But you never cared
To pick up your phone
And continue what's shared

Would you not believe me
If I wrote this for you?
Would you comprehend
That this pain is still new?

Or am I just bluffing?
Is all this a lie?
Are you reading through this
With a tired, sad sigh?

So many questions
I wish you were here
With a rock in your hand
And a shoulder for tears

Let's pretend the world is lovely

Let us go then, you and I

"Let us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky"

Like swift, small squirrels when cars roll by
Shifting slowly, your heart so sly

Never tell your plans, 'so long'
Ignore that your instincts may be wrong
Yet don't speed either like a race-paced song
For sensual hunger is not as strong

If only conversation flowed
So freely and easy as on newly paved roads
Without wrestling children who change to new modes
These words are not random, I hope you decode

O Soul, Take Wing [[Neoplatonism]]

Sophia, Lady of Wisdom,
Why do I walk this earth
With filthy soil, but untainted blue skies?
Understanding surpasses the people
But you appear so sure
Civilization runs crumbling
With no body to aid it.
And you ask for action
Movement to be remembered and kept

Flesh, evil and prison of bone,
Why must you hold me to ground?
I crave for all less holy
Regardless of soul battles
Curse you, separation!
Damn the yearning; the hunger.
Lust in darkness fails me
Curse the Body!

I wish to know Virtue's ingredients
Comprehension, first and foremost
Understanding, my salvation's cost
For my soul longs to return
And unite with the divine
Oh, lovely divine

And dead souls will rise again
Take wing to rise again

Dreadful Risks

I never thought it'd be like this
Your dark dreamt eyes
Forever bliss
Now all I need is
One true kiss
But someone knows
The dreadful risks

I never thought it'd be so warm
Your big, tan hands
Around me swarm
My thoughts, although a bit amiss
Quick to ignore
The dreadful risks

I never thought it'd be a chase
Your gentleness
And soft embrace
Tire not and don't be brisk
They're not so bad
These dreadful risks

I never thought I'd be like this
Open for
That one true kiss
Even with my mind amiss
I let it be
My heart at risk

Prostitute

She is a prostitute.
Drunken in daytime, but sober by night
Awkwardly unlike the stereotypes
But all the men use her;
Abuse her at best
Leave her their money between her large breasts
And still she just smiles
With one tooth gone missing
But one doesn't need teeth
When their life is just kissing

Her money is spent on cheap booze around town
Ignoring the fact that she needs a new gown
So continues the cycle
She ends down on her knees
Every night she moans harder, sobbing out,
"PLEASE!

"Stop this sin that you're living
And save me as well!
You touch me like heaven
But both our lives are in hell!"

These words lack the meaning
That she wants to get out
And her dirty surroundings
Muffle the clear, drawn-out shouts
So she rests on the pillows post nightly affairs
And sleeps until morning when she'll breathe liquor like air.

Dear God

Dear God,
Give me patience
To wait out for all ahead
And let meLet it be
Let them fall right into place
The missing puzzle pieces you hold
And the ending written in your mind
Place them in my heart
I'm done with her anger
I'm over this sadness
I never wanted him for me
Just a him to be
Now I'm dwelling
Always unsure
Insecure with my body
Hating the truth
He found her
She found him
Now that ring will be on her finger
And never again will I have him In my imaginary cage
Eating marshmallowsIt's beautiful
It's amazing
How everything I've dreamed about is being played out right before my eyes
So how long does my smile have to show?
How long until it's authentic and real and
BURSTING?
I'm pathetic, I know
Just eager
And once it is all here in my arms, I'll miss all I have now
Time is so tricky
The moments of freedom are taken away
From choices
Virtual choices
Virtual lives
Electronic devices
I realize that
And I still sit frozen underneath the gorgeous skies
Blazing sun
Natural
Organic
Life
Where are the children who run, skip, and dance?
Where are the cafe art models who observe writers who are focused and concentrated
And they share the same thoughts
And they share the same views
And he's just so wonderful that she thinks, 'GOD, how could this be happening to ME?'
And then there's those artificial flavors
Going to the beaches, the ones who try and play soccer
Even
though
they
suck
And still, I try to love them all
But where'd all the good people go?
And where is he now?
Give me patience
Amen

I saw who I wanted to marry today

I saw who I wanted to marry today
He was sitting on a tall sturdy, red metal stool.
Those kind that are at little, neighborly diners and cafés

He stared down at a piece of paper intently
Concentrating hard on his thoughts
His poetry
At least, that's what I assumed based on the lines that were written neatly in stanzas down half a page
And every so often when words did not come to him
He'd move his hand to his chin and rub his just-shaven skin
His eyes wandered across his table to a rough old woman working behind the coffee maker
She had a wrinkled skirt that matched her skin
I wonder if he noted this
Or incorporated it into his writing…
He'd only look briefly at her silky white hair and finally move his lips slowly in the smallest circular motion.
His curled pointer finger still supporting his relaxed jaw

As his lips rotated, the dimple on his left cheek became obvious, obscure, obvious, obscure
And then his gaze would fall once again upon the pad of paper below him. Inspiration struck every so often, lines seeping from his blue, inky pen.
It wasn't just his writing,
Or the way he held his pen,
Or the way he slumped just slightly in the backless seat
Or even the slowly and circular ways about him that intrigued me
It was simply the whole scene at once
The kind of scene when only the center is focused
Because, honestly, my surroundings stayed a blur
I could only focus on his messy dark hair
Short and to the point, fixed with strokes of gel
It was just the right amount
I think I'm in love
And he never even noticed me

1:07 AM

As breaking daylight shines 'pon windowsills and pillow clouds sail by my eyes with stormy fog, there comes a yearning for clarity had power.

Power? To take that which abandoned such possibilities back into arms of openness. Of course, this would be foolish, but due to blurry facts and stumbling thoughts, I appear to fade into the same darkness of months past. Is it identical? To someone outside the glass box, they would say yes. But I, who know the whizzing complexities, see a stronger reflection. Who has the power to push me down? Who has authority to think all that I've ever been and ever will be is just plain not good enough. How dare they. How dare those fools who see right past the solid colors. I am a dove. Renewed, hopeful, free. Pure with the sun rays displaying my cotton complexion.

I hate the world and here I am. That glazed vision tends to wish away what could have been and yet I linger. Is it glazed? Am I really stuttering the words or are they there right inside my mind of quotes that phrase me better?

Yes, it's true. And for certain, it is shameful. I suppose uncertainty and inexperience is that which plagues me. SWEAR the lies I make up within my head...are false? Is it really as horrible as I make it out to be? I hate these questions. Almost as much as I hate the fact that you can't even dial my life in.

Take a moment. Look along your walls. I hate your uncertainty
hate

hate?

I may believe myself as one who keeps falling and keeps fighting the voices. But now I think i'll decide to just keep flying. Fly away from all that damages important ground. I'm going to keep flying

Inside Affair of a Yearning Heart

All the needs replace the seeds of which I plant to aid your lead and give you all the selfish darts that crashed my world and pierced my heart. The bruises, brown 'pon blood red tears so quickly closed your hearing ears. And silent whispers in the night from Asian eyes that held me tight. To him, I bid a deep farewell and run to thee, with hardened shell. But are you just a stay-inside? The kind who hides from love's shy sight? Of course it's all the same to me. I share such fear of blinding tears for that is why I cling to thee; the he of whom my world should be attached like strings upon lone trees who catch and hug old wooden swings.

I want and pray for this small deed. A second glance provides such need to truly see my glowing face, a power you can soon embrace.

I'm here in front of your sweet lips and yearn to touch thy fingertips. To partner as one heart, one soul; Rapidly, I'd take this role. Yet will her freckled face suffice? Surpass my roll of snake-eyed dice? So low, my chances, now I know how you would leap and let me go. She's played so well, this game of lust and I break down our growth of trust, assuring how I'm not as tough to win the game when times get rough.

I must depart and leave you be as hard as all that sounds to me

Right now this fight has seen the light so I'll let go my cries inside. For no amount of my pain's worth one single tear that dropped to earth and came from thy dark almond eyes. So long, my friend

I cut the ties.

Green Envy Eyes

Only behind green envy eyes
Do secrets and frustrations lie
Confusion blinks so clear beneath
Grey armor, where all swords are sheathed

Like choices never spoken loud
And thunder, fearful in dark clouds
We beat and strike the shrieking clues
That lead us to nostalgic blues

And tears of salt that are unclean
You hide from me...or so it seems
Blind to the face of truth so near?
Deaf to the cries inside that you hear?
Mute of the words you need to say?
Wanting to touch that soft, young day?

I read the signs more than you know
But it's true that you've changed; all come and go
Past childhood mem'ries and bittersweet games
That we all thought taught us we were two of the same

Souls
Who are thirsty for love have destroyed
Such innocent methods, as old as ripped toys
And I hate that you've left me, so broken and torn
Does it not matter now, that promise we'd sworn?

Never come to me to say a farewell
I'll cling to you and the fraud that you sell
In darkened time while you suck down her taste
Of innocence that is so quickly erased