Ocean Eyes

Alone at night, I dream of you
So close to me in rest
I see the ocean in your eyes
I sink into your chest

Like waves, I hear your heart beat rise
And crash into the tide
Dizzy with sweet joy of Love
I feel you at my side

And you will never let me drown
I trust the strength you hold
Your gaze intoxicates my heart
Please swim within my soul.

Oh, swim and read my every thought
I'll drift into your arms
Kiss me under water's shield
And claim me with your warmth.

Oh, let me surf your ocean eyes
And let me taste the salt
Upon your tongue, my fearless name
Is safe and ne'er at fault

Where Water's Edge meets Sandy Shore
My dream will leave me here
Awaken me to find your face
So soft and oh so near.

Reconnection

A conversation between blogs. This took place on the young writers project website.

Megdempsey:
I still read her poetry on here every so often
I feel like I know her again
As if I never left her
As if we were still two young souls playing at recess
And every time I do, I miss her
I don't think she realizes how talented she is
How jealous I always was of her
This is a meager attempt at a poem that maybe she will read
Or maybe she never will see
But I wish she knew how much I cherish her and her writing
We don't talk much anymore
We don't walk through life together anymore
But I hope she knows that I still care
I hope she knows I'll still be here if she has trouble
If she needs someone to talk to.
We used to be best friends
I don't have many of those anymore.
This year is painful
This year I've found out who I am and who I wish to be
I miss the familiar faces of my small town
The ones I used to see every day
The ones who knew me as me, who knew my name so well
Who truly cared, who I had in the palm of my hand
And I dropped them. I let them down. I let them fall
And in so doing, hit the ground myself.
I never picked up the phone
I never wrote letters
Now I'm searching for people who will love me for me
The ones I can trust not to leave
The ones who value the blessings of life

Then again, maybe I don't know her anymore
Maybe the town is just as lost as I am
But I still miss them dearly.

Thank you Magzdoodle for continuing your love of writing. I admire you in so many ways.


Magzdoodle:
Oh, Meghann,
I hope you know
I have not forgotten you.

Oh, Meghann,
I hope you know
You are still constantly in my thoughts.

Did you know
That I thought
We would remain best friends
Forever?
That I thought
We would grow up together
And be the godparents
Of each others children?

And I know now
That maybe we won't do
Everything
Together
Anymore,
And maybe
We won't see much
of each other
Later on in our lives,
But you will always
Be my best friend-
My first and truest friend
That I ever had
(and probably ever will).

I could never
Forget you,
Though I know
That these past few years
Have separated us-
I know there is much
That we have forgotten
To tell each other.

But I will always be here;
My ears will always be open
And my heart always full
When you are near

For Meghann,
I hope you know
That I will always love you,
No matter how these years
Have changed us.

Goodbye dear friends--I hardly knew [Dickinson]

Goodbye dear friends—I hardly knew—
Your soul still lives by me
Upon the bed—awaiting Death
I know I am now free

For outside—Birds stay whistling—
They sense I’ll fly on soon
I close my lids to see the skies—
And Vanish from the room

Dear God, I beckon now to Thee
I am the Graceless dove
Deserve—not I—the Mercy sent
’Pon me—a Tarnished clove

Thanks be—a Faith of needed hope
That I ne’er lost—but Found
A Love now taketh me in death
To King of golden crowns

Now I am gone Beyond the earth
But birds still feel my Soul
And Flying high—through clouds so calm
My friend—I shall console

Columbine.

I am the gun, but I taste the salt of peace
I see the fear, for I am the fearful
I see the tearful recognition of what is to come, yet this is the past and I am the future and she is the present unopened
Until she says, “Yes” to the question of the boy in the trench coat
I scream, “No!” to the falling body on the library floor
Of a school
I smile for her freedom, escaping this earth
For I am the earth as well as beyond
My body feels Heaven like the chains of Perdition
And now I am her, dead on the ground as the boy in the trench coat stands above me
Bitter by the love of Divinity
I am the death, I am the killer
I am the victim, I am the innocent
A lonesome tree with leaves blowing in the wind before the axe tore me down just as her body hits the carpet
My finger struck her down with one pull of a trigger
And I am the tears pouring out in every eye throughout the world
I am the prayer whispered by all mouths
I am her fate from her acceptance of a Divine Entity, admitting the belief of a God
Torn between toleration and exclusion, I have killed her
Torn between a choice of the body and soul, I have destroyed her
And torn between Yes and no, I am the Killed
Do I believe in God?
I believe in the living
And have seen Death in front of me!
O! Bleeding out a scream of choice
The villain in the trench coat chose no
Do I then, choose no?
She chose Yes
And so I too, Choose Yes.

Name

i write the name on paper
look at it.
fold it.
crumple it.
forget it
burning in my pocket
screaming out its being
showing me a face
showing me a lie.

so i look for a fire
i search for a flame
burn it
burn it
burn it, it says
even the name knows it must not exist

i need

to burn it
sprinkle the name in ashes
letting them fly away from me
letting its existence fade
kill its memory
strangle it away from my dripping eyes

i cannot hear the whispers anymore
i cannot see the glares
i cannot taste the salty tears
i cannot touch the flame now

it's gone
it's gone
it's burnt
please burn
please go
please leave
please die

i'm free

Scarred

Inside myself, I go again
Inside myself, I sleep
Where no one dare intrude again
Or watch me as I weep
I'm breaking from the crowd again
I envy all I see
The people in my emptiness
Excluding all of me

The days go on in soundless cries
I sink in sand, alone
Cutting through my skin, I find
I've lost my own Divine
I've lost the ones I truly know
I'm scared I'm on my own
I'm scared that I'll be left behind
By all who come and go.

If you could only see the pain
The broken, scarred, red skin
The circle of my eyes so dark
That mirror all my sins

You'd simply laugh an empty sigh
You'd breathe in night's clean air
For you have lost the will to care
But lately, so have I.

It's nice to not remember you
With razors by my side
It's nice to sleep away the sun
With pills that run and hide
Through veins, I claim my own demise
You could have let me in
But now I choose to leave before
You cut me
Once again.

Bitter Sea

Bitter sea,
please silence these emotions
and let me taste that salty sleep
drowning into ocean deep
My heavy heart will be the weight
That carries me to earthly fate

Down, far down, I'll sink unbound
Yet won't float back for one more sound
Instead, I'll hear a seahorse neigh
And hear the jokes the clown fish say
Laughing, while the water moves
down my throat, the salty blue
gently filling up my lungs
to wash the air right off my tongue

And then I'll know it's time to pray
a goodbye song to all this pain
Goodnight to stars that shine like day
with shimm'ring light upon the waves

Goodnight, dear sea, a deathly sigh
Goodnight, soft ocean, my heart now dies.

Wilted Rose

Broken Fingers
Broken Toys
A Broken girl with shattered joy
She hid away as secrets flew
She hid beneath a darkened truth
I see her pass the hallways, scared
Those big blue eyes, that long blonde hair
Her lashes blink, her soul does stare
Into space while gossip flares
When night creeps in, then whispers fly
She's looked at where the pills do lie
And now as sin is breaking through
Ripping at her skin, unglued
She feels as though a war's been lost
She's emptied and denied her cost
Wilted Rose, your mask is frail
But so much lies beyond your wail
He is here, He'll watch you die
And then He'll bring you forth to Life

So sometimes when myself, I see
A trace of me within her grief
I start to muster prayers of aid
That maybe I will one day change
I'm sorry, mask, I've used you so
But please don't let me see you go
To where I'm not yet free to be
Within His arms, beyond my Grief.

On My Mind

Do you know who you are?
Do you feel like I'm here?
In your breath, in your hair
In you dripping black tears?

Is it wrong that I miss you?
When you're standing right here?
When your arm brushes past me
And I can feel every hair

I'm the past that you've covered
I'm the laugh you last muttered
When the jokes you did sputter
Came so blatantly clear

So I'm sorry for hoping

I'll stop pushing and pulling

And waiting that some day

You just might reappear.

Storm

I sit here and watch the flickering sky
I sit and I wait, with eager, wide eyes
I sit as I feel the rain fall around
'Cause I'm breathing in summer
As time makes me drown

And sometimes I feel like a fly on the wall
Unoticed, uncared for, unstable and small
Each laugh is a blessing
Each silence, a brawl
And I'm tired of sleeping while thunderstorms call

It's the mem'ries that cheer me from the past that's my fate
I've enjoyed all my mournings, but nights bleed too late

I'm afraid of the future
I'm afraid to be wrong
But the cool summer wind echoes simple, soft songs
To my ear, with the melody
One whisper is clear
Soothing my body
Saying, "Sing along, dear."

Fearful Heartbeat

If ever I do perish in the night,
please take the mem'ries that we've held so dear
and bind them to the everlasting light
of promise I believed could leave me here

Don't hold me mad an instant that comes forth,
but stroke my death with loving sweet caress
The voice that whispers soft mine ear, goes hoarse
with tears I hoped would fall, I must confess

But now in time, these words must not apply
For here our youth remains a speckled hope
Our lips can touch today I am alive
and in your arms, there lies no need to cope

Such fear of mourning now turns dark and numb
My heart beats loud and fierce as pounding drums

Fearing Risk

Wrote this sometime in early April

I never want to lose my head
I refuse to let my heart fly free
My honest thoughts,
They're just my own
Aware of possibilities

No matter what we say right now
My sword won't bend
My head won't bow
down to one whom won't be there
To catch my tears
To stroke my hair
For I am scared to death, I fear
Since you're the one who'll cause the pain
I hoped would never haunt again,
My soul
And every battered claim

Alone, I face my sole obsession
And this I write, my whole confession
I miss you now. I miss your face
For just most days, my chest does ache
But I may never tell you this
For fear that I am not your wish
And we will keep our first last kiss
A thought.

One is Gone

You looked me in the eye today
But quickly blinked to turn away
With anger resting 'pon your heart
That pierces me with icy darts
You say no words to no reply
I say a prayer for this goodbye
Cause I will never understand
How you could kill such sacred land
That held us close and gave us home
From loneliness, a sweet abode
You wish to leave, to find a place
Of freedom, with a distant space
Between three friends who shared a bond
Now two and one, and one is gone
I've seen your hurt, I'll leave you be
If happiness is far from me

Small Voice

When I am afraid
I hide in myself
In my room
In the gloom
Of my wooden bookshelves

In my notebooks
The lined brook
That seems lost behind trees
The waves iced in winter
Now sings with the spring

I hide in such color
The blue, inky mess
The secret obsessions
Only pens dare confess
I can free all my fury in one flow of rhymed lines
I can see all my failures and the death of lost time

I know now that words who dare sit 'pon my tongue
Must be said through my fears and a mouth that goes numb
For words can be quiet when glazed over by fear
Tears fall in silence to a closed, happy ear
No problem 'comes solved
No truth is sought out
'Till that voice,
That small voice,
Screams out all its doubt

Tears

Tears
Are so contradictory
They plead for recognition
Yet hate to be seen by those who have caused them

Streaming down your face
Wiped away but never fully dried
And they refuse to stop.
Once tears come crashing down
There’s no quick solution
No speedy recovery
You just need to hide away
And float
Be alone
Talk
Yell
Scream
Stab someone
With the hot icicles streaming out your lids
Hoping that possibly, such a wound as that could hurt like the one bleeding from your back
Because it hurts to stand
And let your mind wander
Cause your eyes will still water
It hurts to look another in the eye
Knowing everything’s a lie
Nothing is for certain
No one is forever
Because Everyone Surrenders

For Years that Burn out Bright

He said he would never go away
and she said she would always be there

with the golden promise twinkling in their eyes
they broke the rules together.
he took a job in Dover
and she waitressed lonely nights
The days grew fingers, long and pointed
for Blame replaced endearment
fights and shouts now came each day
bringing tears to soak her pillow,
asking softly why she stayed
and he could never find that smile from the girl who'd said "I do"
he lost her in his Absence
she lost him in her truth
time could pass without one word
until one day she packed up
bringing about his biggest Fear

the woman he had loved so much
had now the skin he could not touch

Vermont Writes Day

Listen, I'm ready to talk. I'm ready to look you in the eye and speak my heart. Ever since we met I knew there was something more. And if the future holds pain for me, I need you to know that I will never turn around and cry in sorrow because I've gained such happiness in the past four months. You have changed my life. You have changed my heart and that is why I need you to
Listen.
I love you. And if I'm wrong about this being true, I still know that you live in a sacred place within my heart. You have given me such confidence and joy just by knowing you're alive. You walk this earth. You are the fire in my hearth and you are the reason for this mirth.
If ever I have hurt you, made you fall upon the floor
I'm so sorry.
Because now I realize that deep within my core lies the power to send mixed signals and end our relationship, but I also hold the power to mend what I have broken. You are my token. You have my heart. In the deep ocean of emotion, I'll never let you drown and from the heights and which I hold you, I'll never let you down.
I love you. I've loved you all along, so here's the key to my heart. Unlock it. Here's the key to my mind. Come read it. Here are the depths of my soul. Come cherish it.
So now that I've let this all out. Now that you know I won't turn back around, do you feel the same way? Would you die for me? Cry if I had tears in my eyes? Would all of your emotions exhale with a sigh? I just pray to God that he'll hear my plea.
Thank you for listening.

I don't

I don't want a maybe answer
I don't need a cure for love
I'm not the girl to cry in sight
Of those whom may be gone

I can't take another fright
And I won't fake a smile bright
To shine past each and every tear
To come within a solid year

He says it's love
And I've replied
With those three words
She thinks we lie.

It's not for her to preach what's right
From just her sight of outward plights
I hate control and empty guilt
The pointing finger makes me wilt

While bubbling on my mouth, a scream
I keep within
Content, I seem
For only God shall be the one
To guide, to lead, protect me from
false motives

Yet she's not here to judge our words
She says truth that break my swords
I know each fault, but this is fine
And she will never take what's mine

Am I

Am I too naive to believe this could last
Am I just a coward, afraid to look back?
This laughter, these smiles, will die with his name
And my heart is too fragile to deal with that pain
Yet I'm holding each moment so close to my heart
Denying he'd ever throw the first dart

And what about me?
Maybe I'll be the one
To shatter each promise
With lies I've begun
Maybe I'll be the cheater
The one who steals all
I'll lead him up higher to watch his heart fall

But with God as our refuge
I pray we'll stay strong
I'll live for today as we walk on along
These thoughts need to silence themselves for today
They're making me weak and clouding my way
To tomorrow

He'll follow

For now, for this week

And I'll dream of myself softly kissing his cheek
A betrayal?
The vile
Thoughts in our minds slowly clicking each dial
to silence the night
Of the loud pounding heartbeats that scream out in fright.

I Wish You Were Here

I wish you were here next to me
To hold me close, so tenderly
And whisper in my ear, those three
Words that make me grin with glee

And then my eyes could turn to you
My cheeks would burn a rosy hue
Slowly I would fall into
The gaze you hold of honest truth

You'd hug me tight. I'd feel secure
With you nearby, my life's so sure
Your hand through my hair brings my focus to blur
While your scent in the air makes emotions 'come stirred


And once the time is just right...
Once the moment is there
Your face will inch forward
As my lips taste the dare

We'll silently kiss with our patient eyes closed
Praying just once for time to be slow.

Adoration

With eyes, I traced your silent steps
Unseen on stone, so clean
Untrodden ground, that I have found
Beneath Thy presence in my dreams

For often I feel left alone
I'm lost under the cross
I drown into a black abyss
I limp on frozen frost

Yet all the while, You are there
You're on my heart each morn
In nature's silent breath, I cry
Each promise, broken, left unsworn

When I am drawn so close to You
In ocean's sandy path
Your footprints cover mine, so small
To place me in the grass

And bring me back to focused vision

Humble, honest, whole contrition
You're all I need
Be this, my plea:
To fall in true submission.

Sorrowful Judgement

She's breaking
He's taken her life down to ice
She's shaking
And weeping
Red tears of dry eyes
And she's hiding,
Confiding in none but the sky
She's gazing out windows
As winter does die

And I'm watching her crumble
I see her strength fall
Inside of a mind
That now slows to a crawl
She's counting the mem'ries
All the laughs he provoked
His breath on her lips
And his scent on her clothes

And my own heart is crying
At the bonds that we share
The one whom I hated
Now becomes my great prayer

I've laughed at her smile
That seemed so unreal
Now I can see
Those false grins hide each fear

But I judged her so harshly
Constant mocking her speech
Whispering rumors I had no right to preach
Giggling at humor that weakened her soul
And to think that just last year, her pains were my own
And now I am beating her, scolding each bone
Berating her character
That once was my clone

Flower-Sage

Robert Frost's Poem: Flower-Gathering:

I left you in the morning,
And in the morning glow
You walked a way beside me
To make me sad to go.
Do you know me in the gloaming,
Gaunt and dusty gray with roaming?
Are you dumb because you know me not,
Or dumb because you know?

All for me? And not a question
For the faded flowers gay
That could take me from beside you
For the ages of a day?
They are yours, and be the measure
Of their worth for you to treasure
The measure of the little while
That I've been long away.

----------------------------------

Meghann Dempsey's Poem: Flower-Sage

You left me in the morning
When wind was crisp and cold
We walked the night 'till sunrise
Made the streets look paved in gold.
And now I walk with shivering
Wet cheeks, my lips are quivering
Shall I close my mouth to know your heart,
Or speak out all I know?

All for you, there is no question
It’s your life in all I seek
The face I dream on summer nights
When your absence makes me meek
The clock will tick, and then I’ll gauge
Our love on growing flowers’ sage
To gauge the distance we’re apart
I count each lonely week.

God Personified.

2007 poem. written in HEnglish9 Period 2 after reading "God's Wheel" by Shel Silverstein.
Edited in 2009.

God says to me with a kind of smile,
'Open your heart and relax for a while
See what's around you embedded in light
You'll never see beauty with your eyes closed so tight.'

I respond with, 'I hear you, don't misunderstand
But evil surrounds me in this foreign, strange land.
I'm sure the earth's beautiful, still it's hard to embrace
There seems to be darkness hidden under fine lace.'

God stares through my eyes, as calm as can be
'Oh child,' He sighs, 'come here to me.'
I go and sit near Him, my eyes slightly wet
And cry on His shoulder, spilling regret

I cry out, 'I'm sorry! I've been broken down!'
But He just assures me, and lightens my frown
'Forget about stress and the laughs of your foes
I love you more dearly than anyone knows'

'Oh child,' he continues, 'I'll give you the strength
To conquer these burdens and run the full length.'
He ends with a smile and turns 'round to leave
But deep in my heart, I know He's forever with me.

The Journal

again...wrote this last year. response to a story. kind of silly.

All the knowledge of the world would not suffice for the hole in my heart. It grows larger each day. I never wished to leave you, my darling, that dark and foreboding night. As I write these words, I still dream of your flawless skin and sparkling eyes.
I would never purposefully hurt you, but I saw it as my duty to abandon you, only for a time, in order to serve my homeland and the country of which my very being wakes for each day.
I am torn between two loves. The love of my country, the green fertile pastures in which I used to dwell and ponder against old and wise willow trees. The soft whisper of the gentle breeze on my face. The silent mysteries I will never uncoil
And then there's you.
The other half of my beating organs. The soft texture of your face on my chest. How I miss you. And yet, how easily I may have chosen you. Would I ever be at peace? Knowing my companions are out on irate and bashing waves while I am aside the warmth of a fireplace hearth, you by my side.
I could not bear to be absent from those brave, loyal men. Not because I seek for gratitude and honor. I seek for justice and freedom. And how do I live for those and breathe their roles if I myself did not take part in their earning?
Of all the fashions of the earth and nature, none compare to your smooth being. All I wish to say in this letter is the truth and an explanation of your loneliness. I needed to relay my thoughts and sorrows to the one I hurt. And now, I so desperately hope you understand the vacant bedside you awoke to find. I could not bear to wake the angelic princess whom laid beside me. I knew the tears and begging that would begin. And I, weak in your presence, would have only obeyed
You, my angel, needed the dream world still as I packed up the ship. The land where only happiness shows itself to even the most deepest abyss.
Let this be my intention and by God's grace it may come true: I wish my return safely to hold once more, your gracious hands and taste again, your luscious lips
Do not give up hope until you know for face what has become of me. Until you know however, I will save a picture of your wondrous face in my very soul even when I may enter heaven. No angel beyond those pearly gates could ever surpass your beauty.
I love you and always remember that. For I will always remember the knowledge you presented to me.
So long, the beat of my heart. May peace be with you always and may God grant us reunion.

Woman of Darkness

Wrote this last year as a response to a quote from the Dream of Scipio

"Woman of darkness,
Wisdom touching the light"
I hold you in my mind
For endless days of suffering
One exchange of emotion
But still, a memory that will last until death
I create more images than I perceive

I hate you

With utmost disdain, I long to treat you
And yet nothing will ever turn me away.
How can something as joyous as love
Be hidden behind dark, tainted cloaks?

I love you

The soft interaction of lips, I've written about for so long
Two years of desire.
You fill me with passion

Untitled

Something sharp was in that road
Now it prods my sensitive skin
Hour after long hour
Controlling every power I thought I had possessed
Because my role has been taken
And I won't say by whom
But it's hard to turn around and have them
Staring
Gazing
Judging you
Feeding worries to a thin mouth
Cleansing skin that was not dirty

And I sit by
Wondering how I have played this position
Because it's not who I am
It's not who I ever was and now my heart is
Soaked in contrition
Bleeding off unraveling strands of hope
How would I ever cope
Or deal with the slaughter of my soul
If darkness became my six months of light?
We Are Not
Guilty for wishing we were somewhere else
Down southern borders
By ourselves
Alone

Now loneliness is all I have
I am a tethered, beat up rag
Dumb in appearance, so quiet
Ripping at the seams, I am silently
Fighting for the upper hand

Since never have I grasped it
Not even on the nights of supposed equality
Not even reuniting these spirits will bless me with redemption
For how can fear cease in a flaming fire?

What is Love?

It is the vomit moving upward through her throat
While he sits near and holds the basin to her mouth
Supporting the small of her back
and whispering a lie they're both aware of

It is the kiss he gives through a white lipsticked mask
In room 307 at midnight
After talking about the end
Because the bruises refuse to stop coming back

It is the way they dance to all the wrong beats
Just to be close for another night
And she wishes her curls were there to hide the tears welling
But when he touches her face, there's just skin

It is the hair that falls to his bathroom floor
Shaving off denial, fear, and pride
Just to share a close emotion that hurts the chest
She cries when she sees it in his eyes, exposed and bare

It is the sleepless night of worry when the doctors speed in and out
And there's nothing left in sight
Because it never was going to be alright
She's weary and tired from this unjust fight

It is the black umbrella that repels rain
It is the freedom to remember
And it lives on after everything else dies

Center of Everything

The Wonder of it all is how slow the days seem
Yet fast are our watches during the sweetest moments
Since time floats on the aging skies
So young in color
Wise and blessed boats sail on through,
Ready for whatever comes their way

Beauty is the dark nights of winter
When gleaming snow lights each spirit
And twinkles softly in the moonlight
Closing off every room burdened by cold fires
Because warmth comes from your gentle touch
And comfort renews itself from each new hinting grin

Joy awakes to the sound of your tired voice
Fighting sleep for another few seconds
Even if soft breaths are all that is exchanged
It hides within my heart throughout the day
A secret at which no one can catch a glimpse
But brings a smile while words are absent

And Love
Love is the working hand behind it all

Shooting Star

If we could sit beneath the sky
And watch the stars come pass us by
Then every beat, a soft heart flutter
Could fade into my skin and shudder
Shy wishes on the twinkling diamonds

So silent we are, I cannot speak
You touch my hand, I sneak in closer
To feel you pull away, afraid
And leave me questioning my place

But if you've ever felt this way
I do not know, it's yours to say
And my fear of flinching left me wond'ring
If I should lay my head back down
But I found strength to test the water

Can we lie there in July
And watch the warm, sweet, blackened sky?
Side by side on grassy knoll
Side by side, your heart, my soul

Escape routine, and close your eyes
Softly bow your lips to mine
Nothing more, it's all we seek
But it will make my knees go weak

And then we'll sit, so still and quiet
To wait for sparkling streaks to pilot
Time will pass, but we won't mind
'Cause I wish clocks could tick rewind

You point above to the awaited treasure
Smiling, you watch the white light fall
"Your shooting star," You whisper
I nod reply, because it's true
And little do you think or know,
I'm looking up at you

Untitled

Do you remember the night your face fell off?
The night when secrets were cast upon the floor?
Naked, yet silent and every breath could break daylight in my eyes
Every whisper could wake the sleeping spirits
That almost gave up hope

Each time that I am left alone
The familiar feelings return
And all I can do is hope the same goes on
In the mind of contradicting ways

So what left is there to say?

Blue Backdrop Daydreams

When I daydream
I paint my backdrop blue
Then I place the actors where they should rightly be
With crooked handsome smirks
Plastered on their dumb, ignorant faces
And I muse at such innocence for minutes
Until I draw the curtain
Writing each line as it is said aloud

For that is when everything is
So perfect
So flawless
I smile at all the right moments
I handle myself with soft elegance
And my hair falls gracefully in place with one
Strand to leave my questioner gazing

Because I know when the time truly does come
Beyond the blue background
My heart will be racing
And my legs will be shaking
And my lips will feel numb
And my hands will be cold
And my laugh will sound forced
Since my words will crack hoarse

But the worst part is
I don't know what he'll say
Or what he'll do

So in front of the blue...I write his words too
And that way
My comebacks are witty
My reactions are timely
My eyes are not downcast
And I will be charmed
By each hinting comment
Never alarmed

We will both,
Together,
Move foward
And I'll try not to bite my lip
While biting my tongue
Because some moments do not need words
Some silence is the music unsung

In my mind I can pretend
Every rip and tear,
Every sore, every fear, I can mend
With makeup and lighting
To break up all fighting
Since I will be writing behind the blue
The story of Me and You

Teacup

The teacup lies silent on the oak shelf
Chipped on the forehead and the base remains stained
Small, fragile
Yet even moreso now
I see its wrinkles
I hear the wisdom on its eye
So dull now is that old, painted on intricate design
So dull now is my teacup
But I remember
When it told stories
When it laughed
When it comforted the tears that dripped softly down its sides
And I remember its childhood
When dress up games were truth
Accents coated tongues
Stomachs settled and souls sighed
I remember that lone teacup
So vibrant
And now it sits, hidden
Afraid
Still waiting
Now no one sees my teacup
No one sees the lost glimmer echoing inside
Because no one even bothers
And someday I'll return to find
With no influence of mine
A child in her place

Green

I don't know why my heart keeps racing
I can't control my legs from pacing
And in my mind these thoughts are chasing
Every word, silence and confusing reaction
My heart is in fractions
But so whole with a gift and faith in perfection
I just can't understand
Or see where I'm headed
Or with whom I'm contending
Why bother anymore
Or why soothe another sore
Sin is crouching at the door
I can't take this anymore
Patience is my enemy
Envy is the death I see
Breaking is your shell to me
But still so far we have to go until the end, until we know
If she is there to catch your tears
If I am another, playing in fear
It's pathetic, I know, but I watched you go
Taking all there was to have
Sneaking in to make her breath exhale
Another odd eyebrow
I saw it. She saw it. We all witnessed it, but I'm not sure if I'm really the focus here
And guess what?
It's not selfishness. It's truthfulness.
I promised this.
You opened it.
It's all silly swift shaking
I'm sorry I'm not following the words laid out in front of me
I'm failing, but i've tried
Since I have not cried yet
The stone is not stuck set
But I've placed my long bet
Now I'm reflecting on her gazes, her laughs.
The effects. All the deflecting and rejecting taking place
But I'll clear up this face
And watch it all pass by
With one more simple sigh
Until I see them fly
And crying for a break

Now

If ever once there is a time when life feels right
And just, and simple, and lovely
That time is now

So many have mouthed the words
For writers before me have scribbled my thoughts down on paper
They are the ones who stole my senses for descriptions
And yet have let my heart rejoice in love through lines I could not muster on my own
Because I have seen His power at work
Right before my eyes, in my own hand
In his own struggles
In everyone's trials
It's hard to escape the facts when they are staring silently back at you
Looking through the black pupils, colored irises of light, through the white, through the vessels and blood and empty sockets
Into another time and place where your soul exists
Since it is not touchable, of course

Yet, I can feel someone,
something
embracing what is there
Adding to it.
This is when you know that the stars were placed with purpose
And the seas were leaked in anger
And planets are only a mere speck
So my desire for one peck is so incredibly irrelevent. Microscopic.
Did you know that?

Before I go to wander in my dreams, I say a prayer of thanks
And then unwillingly fall surrender to fatigue.
Once reality has become better than one's dreams, that is pure joy
That is the life I wish to forever lead until my time
But how could this be?
Happiness is only known because of pain
So when will the hurt grip my insides again?
When will the twisting and turning return for sleepless nights?
Showing teeth because that's all I've ever done. That's all I can do when I look into the truthful innocent faces
Until I am able to run and lock the door and in the night to cry a wimper, hopeless
Even when I know I knew it from the start
God is my shepard

But let us not keep our minds discouraged because this is goodness
I am free, dizzy, and light and exhausted with laughter
My hands are open and will not kill all these flawless moments with doubt
I will ask for the blessing to continue and wash intentions clean
We have another on our side
All that has happened has reason and gifts
Living water and a Sun to watch us grow apart into together
I only pray this light will last forever

Struggle

Every eye opens up when you call for new starts
Break me away from what breaks your heart
My mind is unfocused, my soul feels alone
Yet I know that you've healed ev'ry bruise, ev'ry bone
I'm flawed with my judgements. My high sense of self
Is what keeps me from leaving these lies on the shelf
I'm thankful for life, I'm grateful for love
But I'm struggling to hear your voice from above
He's crowding my thoughts 'cause he's broken on through
He's hearing my heart, he's reading my truths
'Cause I'm ready for this, now I'm praying to you
Guard my heart, Keep it safe.

Let me have faith

Krissy's First Poem.

Mr Wright's study hall brings miracles


With our love my dear
it is not weak. My
devotion to you shall
not defeat For all that
is good I do love thee.
with all my heart a peck
on the cheek would show
my love and would not
be weak

Nightmare

Three days of waiting
In these hospital chairs
Three days of praying
Avoiding those stares

Come back from the pain
Open your eyes
God sends the rain
To show the world’s cries.

We are all here
It’s not time for goodbye
Wipe away this tear
Don’t forget to try.

Come see the earth’s beauty
Come dance in rain showers
It’s not your duty
To let go of your Power.

This feeling’s surreal
I’m in a nightmare
This can’t be real
Wake me from this scare.

Why would you do this
And leave me alone?
Under the covers
So cold to the bone.

What caused you to try
To take your own life?
What caused you to lie
Then end all that strife?

Three days of waiting
In this hospital chair
Three days of praying
In this horrid nightmare.

The Straight Path

Joyful tears have sprung
And I have seen the plans laid out in my own hand
From years of past to now, with hope
I have seen the glory shine
I have seen white doves arise
And fly off to each and every snow-covered mountain top
Bringing peace, hope, faith
But the greatest virtue of all is love
Sprinkled in rain
And sent down on beaming rays
Love is pain
But Love is Life
I thank you, Lord, so completely faithful in each promise
This is where I am meant to be
Ready to drink while I give You all of me
Take my life, it's all for Thee

For the very first time, these lens are clear
My skin can feel
And my soul can truly tear with joy
If it had gone any other way
I'd be empty and still searching, losing hope day by day

Our words exchange, our secrets keep
Us wise with treasures no one else can see
To others, the depth seems shallow
But I have seen the faith build up
Making strong rock our solid ground
Thank you God
This truly is unfailing love
The will you keep is making sense with every glimpse I am
Given. New Life.
Be renewed
For we are not the light of the world
Our fellow bodies do not brighten this blue and green swirl
You, and You alone, are the unending sun
And I am finally seeing the switch for this lantern
For this is focus with a straight path.

The American Dream

Sam's American Dream Poem
Written by: Annie Wells and Meghann Dempsey

When the minds of men function as machines
We have lost sight of the true American Dreams
Ones that focus 'pon the one above
Helping the needy and showing them love,
Power and Money have corrupted the mind
Now is the time to leave it behind
Our generation can revive the truth
Bringing back liberty, renewing our youth
America was founded on dreams of equality
Which will succeed if we seek out morality
Greed is the wicked that breaks down our souls
But time spent in fellowship will fill in the holes
From the mouth of the King, who proclaimed his own dream,
One without purpose or reason to die cannot truly live
The dawn breaks right now, it's time to forgive.

Happy Birthday Week, Krissy=)

Early on in Fall ‘07
God was far away in heaven
He looked into my life to see
I was broken, no longer me

So once I joined this school that year
God heard my fears, He saw my tears
I prayed for friendship, strong and deep
Fellowships that I would keep

That is when I met you, friend
I felt as if my pain did end
You were loud, outgoing, fun
Your laugh could always bring the sun

Through the months, we grew and grew
Until this year and now we’re true
Friends with secrets, joys, and pains
We’ve shared so much, we’ve crossed our lanes

Random threads on Facebook walls
Jesus told you, “Bring on the moles!”
New Year’s Eve with funny sights
And those Jo Bro pants were way too tight

Your mothers’ baking warms my tummy
When I’m with you, I’m never crummy
We were the monarchs of squash and the gourds!
But Miss Lav made us decapitate Lucie with field hockey swords

The Twilight movie seemed all right
But you closed your eyes at Jacob Black’s sight
You’ve made me want to read Jane Austen
And other lit’rature you’ve gotten lost in

You’ve brought such laughter, so much joy
You’ve listened to my rants on boys
Dirty looks to Jake Lee’s eyes
When I fall down, you make me rise

So, Krissy Blow, I say to thee
Thank you for being friends with me
I don’t know where I’d be without
Your loving smile and excited shouts

Happy birthday, My Dear Friend
I love you so, until the end!

It's Fifty Percent You

It's half of me
But I was scared
Too fearful of that selfish dare
To make a sound
And take the plunge
To speak all thoughts upon my tongue

Let's both break through the ticking clock
Unlock my heart. Come break the rock
You've had the key so long, alas
You never knew the tears that passed
From month to month, all hope was lost
Now have my heart, see it, not dross

And let me see you stay right by
'Cause in the future, shoulders cry
I'll have yours? I give you mine.
I give you all my hidden lines
I give my word, my bashful mind

Every hope has proven true
And every dream I have of you
Joyfully endows sweet rest
Since you have aced each stressful test

And I still laugh 'cause you don't see
How much your life does mean to me
How every breath and every word
Affirms that you do walk this earth
You are hot fire inside my hearth
You are the reason for this mirth

So why, you ask?
Because I do. Because I trust and see into
Your eyes, so honest, glued me fast
To make me see that this must last
To make me see behind your mask

And 'bout the time I gave up trying
Was when you said how you'd been lying
Funny how that's what I needed
I was sick of all my pleading
But now is now and now I'll say
All the words I left at bay

Like I'll be here when skies fall down
And you will wear the purple crown
In emotional oceans, I won't let you drown
For I will never turn back around

How could I?
Why would I?
Unless it's for you
Unless it would make your life feel renewed
How could I?
Why would I?
Unless it's for you
Unless it would make this heartbeat more true

Kiss the Moon

Kiss the moon
Shoot the sun
Cry out loud
And break the tongue
Feel a heart
Speak out truth
Slip away
But keep the youth
Alive.

Hold the innocence renewed
Time can't heal each, deathly wound
Some will flee beneath thy skin
But most will scar 'pon layered sin
Some will treat while days do pass
But most trap life within the past

So how can stitches fall apart?
Make the bruise a work of art?
How can breaks and aches be healed?
Full on through as holes can seal.

I believe in sacrifice
I read his word. He needs my life.
With all its blemished shell and heart
With all the damaged works of art
One soft touch can break on through
Treating tears,
I am renewed.

Oceanic Riverbed

Thank you for the words you wrote
On that long and honest note
Stranded by the castle’s moat
Testing you while waters rose

And I was a dam with bitter convictions
You were the ocean of hard-rock decisions
So the dam had a token and broke through its walls
While the ocean’s emotions would rise and then fall
So wise and so tall, it beat through the days
Alone, and so peaceful ‘till skies became hazed
The beavers of pureness left for new homes
‘Cause the surface of water filled with shark bones

Sharp were the swords of the fish, so unclean
Dirty the sea with new matter. The queen
Of moat’s castle came down to yell forth,
“Depart you two cores! Uncover your worth!”
She leaned ‘gainst the railing with husband at side
The King, held her sweetly, as royal waves sighed

So the dam and the ocean continued to seep
Yet saw all their damage and started to weep
Clinging too closely, for they were now one
Crying morosely at the damage they’d done

To simply be parted was the worst ache of heart
That’s why dam killed the wall at the start
Now disputes flowed and the monarchs dove in
Stuck on both sides, mutated by sin
“We bless this reunion, we call forth the saints!
And they’ll baptize your depths, erase all the stains.”
At that exact moment, the beavers returned
Salt withered up and algae was burned
Swordfish sought friendship, forgetting their weapons
Shark bones were buried ’neath soiled complexions

Then the two bodies united in love
Chanting the message of white, gleaming doves
That’s when pure joy will arouse to all ears
The night of the day when both mothers leak tears

Communication [Old]

Communication has died this day and age
Everytime something hits
You just try to turn the page
I'm sick and tired of the things you keep missing
When you say that you're going to listen
Then move away
And say goodbye
Why won't you wipe these tears from my eyes?

I know it's easier to be locked in a cage
You can Hide behind bars
Never have to act on stage
Giving yourself away
Feeling life within
Instead of wondering about what "could have been"

Make your move
Now's your chance
Don't you dare lose
And avoid my glance

It's time to face it
Things are changing
Why deny it
And continue contemplating?

Take the Change [Old]

We can never go back
When we were so safe
Holding our mother's hand
Trying to get to the playground
Everything was a dream
Life was a smooth river
The worst fear was falling down
How did we get here so fast?
We're not so safe anymore
Our fears have increased
Life is now a wavy ocean
Everything is changing before my eyes
Time races by me
And I can't catch it
Someone hold my hand and I'll squeeze it back
I was never ready to let go
Not Yet.
We'll help each other
I'll follow you through the whizzing seconds, minutes, hours, days, and years
To a time when I'm strong enough
To loosen my grip. To face all these fears.
But even then
Will you stay by my side?
Maybe when we're together
We can stop time
Stop all this change
We can run against the wind, wild and free
Stop the clouds from racing by
Stop everyone that's leaving
Stop the change
Take the change
Away.

Sweet-Nothings

This is from last april or may i believe. Writing conference '08

He was always good at hiding things
Like secrets in a drawer
Never did I expect a word of truth out of that foul mouth
and yet i still wanted assurance
I would listen to all he had to offer
All he had to say
Knowing it was only words. Hollow. Empty
Words
And yet they sounded so amazing
So delicious
Like an apple on a hot summer's day
Or chocolate covered strawberries

I listened because I wanted to
And because I didn't want to as well
He always gave me those compliments
The, "You're so wonderful" line
And in my mind I knew they were just honey-covered sweet-nothings
Buzzing in my ears
But my heart still pounded to the beat of his feet
Trodding on pavement

That smile. That dimple just diagonal of his few freckles around his nose
They spoke to me in a way simple talking would never achieve

I loved this boy
But why?
I asked myself that question
Over and over
With never an answer to make me say
"Ahhh...of course"

For all those compliments...
Just hollow
Just empty
Just space
Words.
Nothing I could touch
Beyond heart wrestling minds
I was caught in a cycle that never would cease

The longer I listened
The more I wanted his arms around my waist
It would never happen though
Never
I couldn't bear it
Not again

Oh, I love him.

Beauty From Pain

You’ll never know until you try
’Cause you can’t laugh until you cry
You can’t dance before you crawl
Or know forgiveness without a brawl
I’d want love that knew deep pain
Because it’d see what it could gain
It would humbly go through life
Aware of all incoming strife
Yet still so eager just to live
Just to breathe, to take and give

My life’s revolved ‘round things to fear
We’ve been taught to run from tears
Yet how do flowers come to bloom?
Sun shines death without the gloom
Life is lost if lost is pain
We’d be shriveled without the rain
Plants would wither while trees would wane

Let's both try to lose the game.

The Sunflower Holds a Black Middle {EPIC POEM}

They’ve been here since the seventh ember
That smoldered hot with zeal
Connected two unexpected souls
Those feelings fiercely unraveled as dead coal warming a winter fire
Powdery, cold
Mysterious and small
And yet it heats to embrace the one who believed all to be lost
The night before unlucky days
Unlucky fate
Such loving gates

I opened up unwillingly to take his tanned hands in mine
Moving to music
Fingers so crumpled
He was confused. As was I
Ending in frustration, the night fell down
His lips were tight and eager
Waiting months for aged arrival
And still received rejection
I never meant to play those cards so freely
Queens and hearts are all he sought
But he never talked
And there was no way I could listen when I longed to
Club him with spades
Black eyed tears
While the suicide king broke away

So when the sky invited the sun once more, my heart felt used and ready to surrender
We got in the car and drove
Drove
Drove
To a house of generosity
And I’m not sure when you noticed me
All I know is that day changed everything
Brought clarity
Brought a future
But most of all it brought you
A prize so valuable that I had no right to touch
Yet I still long to so much that it’s obvious
I was never meant to be
Yoked to donkeys
As handsome as they may seem

The day drew on slowly, but the night flew so fast
I asked for your future
And you begged for my past
I’m not sure what brought on such strict solutions
And I still pray they’re not your only conclusion

Internal battles ensued
Fighting the one who remains anonymous
Emotional overload and when the Book opens
Answers flow out
Selflessness
There is no choice because decisions have been made
All that’s left to do is follow
Follow
Follow
Down this unknown path of months and years
Clarity converted to confusion
I never realized your page is still the first
Of my seventy-three blank lines
Awaiting approval
And it shall never come
Waiting
Waiting
Waiting
For something else
Something real
And I know that it’s so selfish
And I know that I’m too pushy
‘Cause when my eyes are stuck on marble,
We’re not sharing too much, really
I’m too sworn by my secrets
And I’m too lost in your mind
That I’ll never let these feelings swim to the surface
Exposing me
Exposing dreams
Exposing thoughts and all my hidden facts
Like I cried yesterday
And I prayed like I used to
When I’d stare out the car window on my way to school thinking how everything had died in nine sad months
I cried yesterday
And I’ll lie to you tomorrow
I’ll suck it up inside this vacuum of mine
But the truth is
I’m NOT too scared to try
I’m ready
Eager
Waiting
Praying
Changing
Everyday
But it shall never come
Because you may never say
What Daniel told our God that Day
I wrote you a letter once
But I threw it away within your file
Scared you might read it
And see past my smile
Hiding
Hiding
Hiding
Yearning and striving to do what is right
In His perfect sight
Lying and crying while sighing a blessing
Now that I know that your thoughts are not mine
These reflections are different
Foggy, then clear
It’s like the future keeps changing when our heartbeats are near
To each other
I see now, my flaws. My bitter tongue flares
I spit out these words like I don’t even care
But I do! Oh, I do! If only you knew how confused is this pen when my writing ‘comes skewed
These patterns are changing and my methods are dark
He knows how I feel while I know what to do
How hard! How far? How far will I go before you beg for me back
I’m happy
I promise
And I refuse to deny you that right
You deserve it more than I ever will
It’s yours and you’ll take it with not one doubtful doubt
Maybe the only key to my thoughts are these words
I act like I’m strong, but I’m too weak to open
My mouth and answer one simple question
Fear controls mankind
Cuddles into our minds
The devil’s favorite trick under greed
It’s the seed of my failures
But I’m not scared to try
I’m scared of giving when nothing will come
Nothing can come
Because we’re separate skewed segments on two different planes
Flying away
Being fooled
Over
And over
And over
Again
Over
And over
And over
Again
So I’ll lay down the weapons and I’ll
Drive, drive, drive, drive
Follow and follow
Just to wait, wait, hide, wait.
So what if I cry a bit?
And who will know if I lied a bit?
That will not matter
Because I’m simply going to
Deny a lot
Over and over and over
Again
Over and over
Now read this
Again.

Maroon

It started as a joke but then my mouth refused to laugh
He looked into my future
Wanting more than just a past
But I kept him in his car
And his effort lacked the truth
Nothing from that mouth whispered pain of handsome youth
His golden face impressed me we fought a constant war
The magazines gripped at my thoughts and I sent him to dark sores
Maroon was like that day when every touch brought hope and praise
Dark enough to bring an end
But red like love and scattered brains.

It was Something that would change us, cry with us, and use up every heart.